Post the funniest thing you saw on the Internets today

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[sunrat 2,263]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[abarbarian 3,344]

 

 

[Bookmem 69]

Geaux Saints!!!

[securitybreach 11,088]

 

Oh no, the hackers can now use htop and cmatrix! What are we ever going to do?

 

[sunrat 2,263]

I am regularly amused in TV shows or movies where uber1337 hax0rs screens are shown as something like randtype scrolling through source code or logs. Try it:

randtype -t 0,2000 </path/to/text/file>

Probably need to install randtype first, only a small handful of kB. It's basically a typing simulator. Change the numbers for speed, use "-l" option to show lines each time instead of single letters.

[Pete! 228]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

Yes!!
"O.R.A.C.L.E - One Rich A**hole Called Larry Ellison"

[securitybreach 11,088]

[sunrat 2,263]

Quote

 

I am working in a small electronics aisle in a superstore. A sweet old lady has approached me.

Old Lady: “I am looking for this thing for my grandson. Let me see here…”

She pulls a piece of paper out of her pocket from one of our ads, and a $10-bill accidentally falls out with it. A middle-aged woman standing nearby sees it, her eyes go wide, and she grabs it and stuffs it in her pocket before the old lady can see.

The poor old lady is looking around very confused, wondering where her wayward bill has gone. I approach the woman.

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, I believe that money you just picked up belongs to this customer here.”

Woman: “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Me: “Ma’am, I saw you—”

Before I can finish, the woman struts off. The old lady is looking at me, slightly shocked.

Old Lady: “Did she just take my money?”

Me: “I’m afraid so, ma’am. Would you like me to call security? I am sure if the camera saw it, we can—”

Old Lady: “No need, she’s not worth it. I just need this item in the ad for my grandson, please?”

The item she’s looking for is a computer tablet, so I open the small cabinet where we stock them.

Old Lady: “Actually, could I have two? This ad is a really good deal!”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am!”

I hand her two boxes, advise her that the security tags will be removed at the checkout, and wish her well.

About ten minutes later I am running an errand that brings me near the registers when I hear the alarms going off near the exit. I quickly have a look to see what is happening. The thieving woman from before is shouting at the security guard, and pointing at her receipt.

Woman: “I’ve paid for everything! It’s your f****** broken sensors! This is f****** embarrassing!”

Security: “Ma’am, I can see that everything in your bag matches the receipt. May I search your bag?”

Woman: “Absolutely not! I am not a thief! I am leaving!”

She tries to leave but more security has arrived. She eventually relents and opens her huge designer bag for Security to search… and out comes a box for an electronic tablet, security-tag still attached.

As the woman is screeching that she didn’t put that tablet in there, I see the old woman from before nonchalantly walking past, an ever-so-slight smile on her face, with her just-purchased tablet in her bag.

Just the one tablet, mind you…

 

 

From https://notalwaysright.com/

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

So true

 

 

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]

[securitybreach 11,088]