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Post the funniest thing you saw on the Internets today


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I was a freelance translator. I received an e-mail from a local golf club I'd done some work for saying "Can you please look at the attached?" I thought it was a commission and foolishly opened the attachment without checking.  Instant virus infection that doubled in size every time I tried to tackle it!  I switched off the computer and rang the repair shop.  "Sure, bring it in at 11am."  But before I left, I rang the golf club.

Me: Have you sent me an e-mail this morning?

Client: No, why?

Me: I just received an e-mail supposedly from you, but it contained a virus.

Client: Are you accusing us of sending you a virus?!?!

Me: No, I'm just warning you that you might be receiving one too, as the culprit obviously has both of our addresses.

Client:  Are you threatening us?

Me: Not at all, I'm just advising you - do you have a virus filter?

Client:  Of course we do... I'm sure we do.

Me:  Fine.  Just don't open any unknown attachments.

At 11am I get to the repair shop, but find that the man is out.

Me:  That's odd, we had an appointment at 11.

Receptionist:  He should be back in a few minutes.  He's had to go to the golf club.  It appears they've got a virus...



From https://clientsfromhell.net/


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I am regularly amused in TV shows or movies where uber1337 hax0rs screens are shown as something like randtype scrolling through source code or logs. Try it:

randtype -t 0,2000 </path/to/text/file>

Probably need to install randtype first, only a small handful of kB. It's basically a typing simulator. Change the numbers for speed, use "-l" option to show lines each time instead of single letters.

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