BoardFlak Posted May 5, 2003 Share Posted May 5, 2003 Actually, I think the last line of your sig says it all. Find out for sure if it's one of those fancy suit affairs...then show up in your jeans and bandana. If you know what kind of concert it is beforehand, then you're just making a statement about art and music being accessible to everyone, not just the owners of fancy clothes, rather than just being a clod (their likely opinion, not mine) who was unprepared and didn't know how to dress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 7, 2003 Share Posted May 7, 2003 We got other parts of the forum for normalcy.Normalcy? Computer, please define. I do not know that term. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted May 7, 2003 Share Posted May 7, 2003 You know that you need to take a long, hard look at where your life is going when...You find yourself at a concert where everyone is dressed up.You learn that you have just received the "team player" award at work.You realize that your car radio is tuned to "all news, all the time", all the time.When you speak, people listen.The neighbors are all jealous of your lawn.When you give really bad advise, no one realizes that you are joking?Any more out there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoardFlak Posted May 7, 2003 Share Posted May 7, 2003 Hey, waitaminnit, I own a cell phone, but I can plead mitigating circumstances. I was "instructed" to get one for my job, and have it with me at all times. At least they're also paying the phone bill. Now, anyone not in that circumstance who is that obsessed about their phone...yeah, I'd agree. Here's one: You see that new TV ad with the monks where they hear "you've got mail" and all bolt for their computers, and you can TOTALLY relate to it.Oh, and while I'm at it, Temmu: while the Force has a powerful effect on the weak-minded, it is still necessary for them to have a mind. That may be where you're having problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stretchr Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 You let some of these people have a microwave, and It's Showtime! Like the nightwatchman at a radio station, who on chilly nights used to take to a deck chair in front of the microwave transmitter to keep warm?That is, until one cold Christmas eve, when the signal was doubled to cater for increased capacity, and beside the deck chair was found a six-pack of beer, one half empty ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stretchr Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 Combine brain damage with a keyboard and viola! Hmmm, my brother has both of those too .... and his name begins with j .... same wild look on the face .... oh dear this is getting too close for comfort! Dont tell me YOU ARE HIM??????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted May 8, 2003 Author Share Posted May 8, 2003 (edited) Welcome to our little world of weirdness, stretchr. Fact is, when I was in the Army in the 70's, and microwave antennas were still fairly new, they used to encourage safety by telling us the horror story of the soldier in Germany who thought he'd found a nice warm place to get out of the weather. Fried him from the inside out. I imagine it was apocryphal, but it's possibly true. Edited May 8, 2003 by Jeber Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stretchr Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 ... and buy the most powerful shop vac there. Don't worry about bags. You'll never use the suction function. Hook the hose up to the outflow hole and dust off that screen. Have a friend either, 1) hold the computer down while you clean it, or 2) "spot" the computer...follow it's flight so you both can recover the computer once it lands. The shop vac also comes in handy for solving overheating problems for overclockers.Ok, got the vac .... but I plugged it in the wrong hole!! Maybe I shoulda used the shovel ... Anyway, now I have a compaq't, not a Dell (at least not recognizable as one). What should I do? Soak it in water overnight like you do with lentils?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted May 8, 2003 Author Share Posted May 8, 2003 No, no...you'll want to remove the hose from the current location and put it into the other hole. Put the other end in a large bag. This will cause the vac to spit out the computer parts it earlier sucked up. Then put the rest of the computer in the bag and shake it. The computer's memory will get the pieces back together. Give that a shot and post back with your results. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stretchr Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 I always knew I should have got myself more memory ... makes wonderful glue. And ... I found out what they make those big black and white Gateway boxes out of - regurgitated computer parts! Sorta how mine's looking now .... they must have one heck of a big vac in the Gateway factory, suckin up all those dud computers ...Defrag time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 Hey! I have a Gateway Computer! OK, it stinks...reeks...bloated, larva-infested carcass,,,well, you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted May 8, 2003 Author Share Posted May 8, 2003 how did the servers know i was doing a backupThey just know. Servers are closer to self-awareness than workstations or home PC's.why is my $9 tape recorder faster than a $1,000 hp surestore?The more we pay for something the more effective we expect it to be. By going slowly, "surestore" appears to be more effective. Anything that takes 10 hours to work has to be worth all that money.how do i get the info back onto the server(s) in the likely event of a server crash?Plug the tape recorder into the microphone jack and hit "play". This will input the data into the server.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hey all...have you ever wanted to install a window in your computer box. Try a bay window. This will allow you to put small houseplants or some knick-knacks on display. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 The techie at my last school (before he retired) used to go crazy trying to figure out what was hacking into his system and causing all the activity at 2 a.m. After watching him try to figure it out for two years I finally asked him (when he was scratching his head) just when did the server do its backup? I did not let on like I had figured it out months before since it was too much fun to watch. I am not normally that bad but when you have one that does not think anyone else can know anything about computers, it is fun to watch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GolfProRM Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 I've got a question... my mom stopped over last night and handed me a bunch of boxes full of "parts." She mumbled something about me "building her computer?" So now I've got a bunch of stuf... I think one box says CD-ROM, another one has something called a case? And what the heck is a "Pentium 4"? don't I need a "Pentium 3, 2, and 1" before the 4 will work? And I think she left something that she should have kept... it's called a "mother"board. Any ideas on what I'm supposed to do with this stuff and how I'm supposed to "build her computer?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 RyanThe "mother" board is a spy system. Moms like to know what sons are going to do. See the holes in the bottom? Take the bottom of the case, get a good ten penny nail or two and just nail that sucker in. When you get done, turn the case over and bend down the bottoms of the nails so you don't snag your clothes on it.Now that you have that done find the plugs that attach it to the power. Connect it and turn it on. See if it works or not. Afterwords, you need to hammer the other parts in as they fit. If they don't fit, cut a hole to match. Make sure you apply plenty of pressure with the hammer. Afterall, they are not delicate parts.If there were any silver round things with a hole in the middle, take some wire and tie them together. Then take a screw and attach them to the mother board.Let me know how it goes this far and I will help you from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 LOL! Between teacher and Jeber's help with computer hardware ... Ryan's job should be easy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GolfProRM Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 RyanThe "mother" board is a spy system. Moms like to know what sons are going to do. See the holes in the bottom? Take the bottom of the case, get a good ten penny nail or two and just nail that sucker in. When you get done, turn the case over and bend down the bottoms of the nails so you don't snag your clothes on it.Now that you have that done find the plugs that attach it to the power. Connect it and turn it on. See if it works or not. Afterwords, you need to hammer the other parts in as they fit. If they don't fit, cut a hole to match. Make sure you apply plenty of pressure with the hammer. Afterall, they are not delicate parts.If there were any silver round things with a hole in the middle, take some wire and tie them together. Then take a screw and attach them to the mother board.Let me know how it goes this far and I will help you from there.nails, huh? shoot... it didn't come with any... I've got some twist-ties laying around here, will that work??? Or do I need to go to the store and buy some??? Oh, wait!! Did you mean FINGER nails??? I think they're long enough that I could clip them and use them!:DPower plugs??? hmm... okay think I got this... Turned on... nothing happening... oh wait... gotta plug it in!!! Now am I supposed to get sparks?? I've seen a few, but not many :(Other parts... no matter what I do I can't get this "CDROM" drive to connect to the board!! Am i missing something?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 nails, huh? shoot... it didn't come with any... I've got some twist-ties laying around here, will that work??? Or do I need to go to the store and buy some??? Oh, wait!! Did you mean FINGER nails??? I think they're long enough that I could clip them and use them!:DPower plugs??? hmm... okay think I got this... Turned on... nothing happening... oh wait... gotta plug it in!!! Now am I supposed to get sparks?? I've seen a few, but not many :(Other parts... no matter what I do I can't get this "CDROM" drive to connect to the board!! Am i missing something??If you must use twist-ties, make sure you take the paper off them. You might need to take a dozen and wrap them around together so you have a strong connection. I don't think fingernails will work very well, but you can clip them to a point and stick your finger in one of the holes to hold it down as long as you have the twisties with the other. Wait, just take a picture off the wall and if it has wire that holds it up, borrow that. If not, just borrow the nail holding it on the wall.Sparks - was it like sparklers? If so you are okay. If not, follow the suggestion above and it shouild give more of a show.To connect the CD rom thing, remove the plastic covering. Then use a punch to create a hole. Again, a good nail should hold it in place. Make sure you have that good strong connection. Otherwise, just take the powersaw and cut it in half so you can hammer it on to the board. Did you find the fatherboard yet? You don't want to miss any of the spy ware. It is probably plugged into the motherboard somewhere. It might be hiding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted May 9, 2003 Share Posted May 9, 2003 Put Mom in a nursing home and deliver the box to her room. Tell her that when you receive an email from her, she can go home.Change your email address. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoardFlak Posted May 9, 2003 Share Posted May 9, 2003 where else would you learn about keeping plants warm in a pc's bay window? :lol:i hope bay windows doesn't mean using a chain saw or shovel (again) - although i suspect it does - and can you believe my brother still won't talk to me? A really good way to have a bay window on your PC is to put a photograph of someplace you'd like to visit covering the side of the monitor, then attach the bay window over it. Once those items are combined with a computer, they function just like pictures do in the old Bugs Bunny and Roadrunner cartoons. If you want, you can go to the place in the picture. All you have to do is paint a road leading into the photo and follow it. No one else will be able to follow you. Oh yeah, and be sure to take a running start. It works better that way. :)Now, about building that computer, I think you're all putting far too much effort into all this. It's really quite simple. All you need is the bag of parts, 16 coils of solder, and about 5 newspapers (3 if it's the New York Times. Take the case, dump everything else in, wad and stuff the newspaper in after it, and apply a match. When the paper is burned away, everything will be soldered together. Simple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 9, 2003 Share Posted May 9, 2003 Is this called cooling things down? I have never desired having a computer look like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted May 10, 2003 Author Share Posted May 10, 2003 Ooooooo, that fan's gotta hurt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 10, 2003 Share Posted May 10, 2003 Jeber, I figured I had to post something like that to see if you were dead or alive. Glad we got a reaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted May 10, 2003 Author Share Posted May 10, 2003 Attach an 80mm fan to my fanny and you'll get a reaction every time! How come no pic from the front of this "computer"?"He's not dead...he's sleeping"...Monty Python Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 10, 2003 Share Posted May 10, 2003 Attach an 80mm fan to my fanny and you'll get a reaction every time! How come no pic from the front of this "computer"?"He's not dead...he's sleeping"...Monty PythonYou have to go to the test area for the front side picture. Something about a disembobulated head ruins the look though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted May 10, 2003 Author Share Posted May 10, 2003 Your pics remind me of some really bad advice I used to give to some folks now and then, and that was to get a "plexiotomy". That's an operation in which a 3"x6" square of plexiglass is surgically inserted in their stomach so that they can see where they're going with their head up their posterior. Don't know if anyone actually ever followed that advice, but I recommended it to a lot of people, mostly drivers and cell-phone users. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 10, 2003 Share Posted May 10, 2003 "plexiotomy". That's an operation in which a 3"x6" square of plexiglass is surgically inserted in their stomach so that they can see where they're going with their head up their posterior. Hmmm, think I will have to add that to my Funk and Wagnells! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siebkens Posted May 10, 2003 Share Posted May 10, 2003 "He's not dead...he's sleeping"...Monty PythonI thought he was merely stunned! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted May 10, 2003 Author Share Posted May 10, 2003 I thought he was merely stunned!Precisely, and usually by my own stupidity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 10, 2003 Share Posted May 10, 2003 Jeber you might not be the first to pass 1000 but I think you might have the first thread with over 6000 hits. Keep us in stitches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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