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bob3160

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bob3160

SO WHO IS DOING All THE WORK? The population of the USA is 300 million 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 55 million to do the work. Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 15 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden. Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work. Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188, 000 people in hospitals. Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes. Nice. Real nice !!

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NEW WORDS FOR 2008 : Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!!! BLAMESTORMING Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard . SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake). WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

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A Woman's PoemHe didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake, He said my biscuits were too hard Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. Then I turned around and smacked him in the head... Like his mother used to do.

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NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction."Al-gebra is a problem for us," the AG said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.""They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y', and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator, the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country."As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle."When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President

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WeirdWeird.gifCount them and wait!Count them again after the picture has changed . . .This will drive you crazy!

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I was feeling a little nosey, so I thought I would look in on you and see if you are sitting at your computer...Yup, there you are! checkingonU.gif Unrated NSFW SFW Voted NSFWVoted SFW

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ToyotaCowrolla.png Unrated NSFW SFW Voted NSFWVoted SFW

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15033031.jpgBoycott-- this will work!!Help me in boycotting Anheuser-Busch since they are sellouts to a foreigncountry.Drop your beer off at my house & I will dispose of it. We'll teach those sob's Unrated NSFW SFW Voted NSFWVoted SFW

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MissingMouse.png Unrated NSFW SFW Voted NSFWVoted SFW

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10.png Edited by bob3160

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