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Post the funniest thing you saw on the Internets today


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Cluttermagnet
On 4/5/2020 at 8:54 AM, securitybreach said:

sM8FD0H.jpg

 

Arrrhhh... Why be ye teasin' me, mates? National Talk Like a Pirate day be

months in the future, dangnabbit! Shiver me timbers...

 

Clutter

 

Edited by Cluttermagnet
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V.T. Eric Layton
On 4/18/2020 at 11:37 AM, securitybreach said:

 

:hysterical:

 

On 4/18/2020 at 6:43 AM, abarbarian said:

antivirus-jpg.13416

 

Brilliant ! 😂

 

Wow! That's a really old version of Norton. He needs to upgrade. ;)

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securitybreach
57 minutes ago, V.T. Eric Layton said:

 

 

Wow! That's a really old version of Norton. He needs to upgrade. ;)

 

Well they do not offer the disks anymore. Perhaps he could strap a couple of ESET drives to his face.

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19 hours ago, V.T. Eric Layton said:

 

 

Wow! That's a really old version of Norton. He needs to upgrade. ;)

 

That is probably a picture taken from the Sars or Ebola scares in the past.😄

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As Australia is gripped by bog roll shortage, tabloid says: Here, fill your dunny with us 

Quote


"Wouldn't wipe my arse with it" is an expression you'll commonly hear in the UK to describe a newspaper the speaker doesn't like. However, tomorrow Aussie tabloid the Northern Territory News will invite its readers to do exactly that.

 

 

Quote

In the meantime, whatever you do end up wiping your posterior with, stay safe and healthy out there. If you're happy and you know it, wash your hands!

 

:hysterical:

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What a crap idea. 😜

From what I've heard about the NT News, it's quite apt though.

When I was a kid we lived in the country, no sewerage, and dunnies were often a tin shed out the back with a deep hole underneath. Standard arse wiping material was newspapers!

 

Added extra chuckles, excerpts from the comments on that article:

Quote

I used to live with a guy who refused to buy bog roll. So the rest of us hid our own stashes of bum wad (behind the sink was a good place), whilst he made do with a telephone directory*.

* Note for kids; this was a big book in which the government-owned telephone monopoly, published everyone's name and land-line number. It had nice thin pages.

...

For the kids: A land-line was a number on which you could contact people on a telephone on a table in their hallway at home. This telephone was connected by wires to the public telephoner network. It was usually located at the bottom of the stairs, next to the front door.

...

Note for young people: Talking on the telephone is what people used to do, before the invention of texting, WhatsApp, Facebook chat, Telegram etc.

...

Telephone directories are rubbish now. When they were important, they were great. Because with all the numbers and adverts they were thick enough to make perfect monitor stands. The ones you get nowadays are barely a hundred pages thick...

...

I was in an Argos shop the other day and saw their nice thick catalogue.

A shop is a place where old people can buy things to take home instead of being delivered or 3D printed.

A "catalogue" is like Amazon, but printed on paper. It is a "book" with "pages" showing things to buy, like web pages.

"Paper" is a display system made from poor innocent trees. It has a digital interface if you lick your finger and then use it to turn the pages.

"Licking" is a form of intimate greeting that we used before SARS bird flu swine flu coronavirus golgotha plague.

 

 

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securitybreach
4 minutes ago, sunrat said:

What a crap idea. 😜

From what I've heard about the NT News, it's quite apt though.

When I was a kid we lived in the country, no sewerage, and dunnies were often a tin shed out the back with a deep hole underneath. Standard arse wiping material was newspapers!

 

That's pretty D*** harsh

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2 minutes ago, securitybreach said:

 

That's pretty D*** harsh

 

There was a digital alternative if you didn't like the newspaper. 😏

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7 minutes ago, securitybreach said:

Were there not any trees with leaves around that you could use?

IIRC, our place on the chook farm had a septic tank with a loo attached to the house. Marvellously modern. It was only visiting other farms I experienced the dreaded outhouse. Bog roll was a minor consideration there, you mainly had to look out for the redback spiders that always hid under the seat.

Then there was the place in Queensland I lived for a couple of years where my housemate came screaming out of the inside loo because a carpet python was curled up on top of the cistern. She didn't notice it till she turned around to finish the paperwork!

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