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U.S. vice president Joe Biden (on the left) seems to be sniffing that woman's hair in an inappropriate manner.

 

Ah ok. I thought he was whispering in her ear.

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I do not get that one ????

 

about a dozen pix of v.p. joe biden fondling women (unwanted, univited) was infamously on good morning america this morning -

 

example - joe biden talking to sigourney weaver:

 

2tkpRRB_zpsft0bmyvc.jpg

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The vice president is often referred to as "assassination insurance", as in "do you really want this guy to become president?"

 

Look what happened after John Kennedy was killed.

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Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.

 

I bet giraffes don't even know what farts smell like.

 

If I've learned anything from 50 Shades of Grey, its that women still haven't figured out you can watch porn at home ... for free.

 

If I had to describe myself in one word it would be "doesn't know how to follow directions."

 

A local business in my town has an open carry discount. As in, you show them a gun to save money. Doesn't that discount apply everywhere?

 

My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on whether I'm at the gym or at Walmart.

 

Bing is the RC Cola of search engines.

 

Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?

 

I'll watch a music award show when the awards aren't voted on by 13-year-old girls.

 

Money not buying you happiness? Wire it into my account and I'll send you pictures of how happy it makes me.

 

In alcohol's defense, I've done some pretty dumb stuff while completely sober too.

 

Why is this dude chatting with Jake from State Farm at three in the morning anyhow?

 

The fact that Burger King can sell you 10 chicken nuggets for $1.49 should concern you more than it should entice you.

 

I don't really WANT to make bad choices; but I got here late and all the good choices were already taken.

 

American Sniper proves that not even being in an active war zone will prevent your spouse from calling you at work.

 

GUY 1: Why can't we skip rope without society judging us?

GUY 2: What if we occasionally beat the crap out of each other?

Boxing is born.

 

The person that named the eggplant probably isn't allowed to name things anymore.

 

At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?

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