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Jeber

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Just fdisk daily and you won't have to worry about those other commands. I always recommend fdisk for folks with Windows. :)

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Well now, (ATL) that would (ATL) be up to (ATL) each individual as to (ATL) what they were (ATL) most comfortable with (ATL). I wouldn't (ATL) want to attempt (ATL) to sway their (ATL) decision one way (ATL) or the other (ATL). :rolleyes:

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You (ATL - who me?) can't influence (ATL - I think I know what that is.) me a bit. (ATL rocks). I don't notice (ATL has not affected me at all) subliminal (ATL is the best) messages at all....Julia :rolleyes:

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Guest LilBambi

Now with all that subliminal stuff going on ... I've gotten this terrible headache in the back of my neck!Jeber, you have any ideas on what to do for this subliminal type of headache? :rolleyes:

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This is a very common problem, and the cure has double benefits.The next time you're in town, go to the mall. Park near the outer end of the lot. Walk through the lot toward the fanciest store there, maybe Macy's or Bloomingdale's. Do not park at the Sear's end of the lot. As you approach the store, be looking for a small, black with tan interior, highly-polished foreign sports car with vanity plates. If it's around noon, there should be several near matches to select from. Pick one with a cold engine cover (hood, bonnet). Then just sort of hang out near the right hand side of the car. As the owner approaches, reach down and place your right hand, with a quarter in your palm, underneath the right rear tire. Scream as loudly as you like as he/she backs over your hand. The pain you now feel at the end of your right arm should totally distract you from your headache.For desert, in a couple of days, begin proceedings in civil court against the owner of the vehicle. All you were doing was reaching for a quarter you saw laying under their tire. They should have been more careful. Retire on your award.(Anyone considering trying this needs professional help. If there is not a mental health clinic in your town, try the internet.Any court awarded monies must be shared evenly with me. This method is my intellectual property.)

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Just fdisk daily and you won't have to worry about those other commands.  I always recommend fdisk for folks with Windows.  :thumbsup:
:thumbsup: Now why didn't I think of thatOmg Jeber you almost brought tears to my eyes :thumbsup:
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(Anyone considering trying this needs professional help.  If there is not a mental health clinic in your town, try the internet.Any court awarded monies must be shared evenly with me.  This method is my intellectual property.)
If you try it with a red sports car instead of black, I 'll take half. That's my modification! Great idea Jeber. Any suckers out there?
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No, not folks that have a red sports car. Folks that are willing to stick their hands under a moving wheel of one! :o Julia :)

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  • 2 weeks later...
I feel the love of bad advice already!!
Hmmm. That could be something a tad more serious. Better consult your doctor. B)
If you do not have a doctor, Jeber has a really good one...Dr Earle. Doc E is a master with medicines (even if they are not all FDA approved), and will make you better, quicker.Pay no mind that Jeeb has been turned into a frog...he simply did not pay his bill.
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Oh yuk...patooey...blah...Who was that kissing me?Hey, I've been turned into a French prince.What kind of kiss was that anyway?hack...cough... :)

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How do you think I got this way? Lab Rat and his sure-fire method to cure the effects of french princeliness. At least he didn't try to kiss me. :D

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Ross549Have you been taking advice from Jeber or Dr. Earl? Did they advise you that you needed green safety glasses to read the forum? Do you wear other colors for other jobs? Just curious.Julia :pirate:

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Dr. Earle's a tad overly cautious. He feels you should wear safety glasses anytime you're in a situation where, in any manner, you could put an eye out. Thus, he recommends wearing safety glasses anytime you're awake and out of bed. I don't believe he recommends any particular color.

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Is this why the forum looks a little pink? Is it the glasses I am wearing? I thought it was just another one of those wonderful skins our illustrious forum admin in charge of the like creates. :D Julia B)

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The older I grow, the more I become convinced that a lot of our problems are caused by foolish beliefs. We have a tendency to accept at face value certain philosophies that in truth are simply fantasies that we humans have draped with the banner of fact.For instance, one of the biggest causes of unhappiness and strife is reality. Now I'm not saying that reality is totally without merit, but it's not the ultimate truth some people make it out to be.For example; do you ever wish you could go back and live certain days over again...change the way that day turned out? Do you wish you could live longer? Both of these dreams can be realized by just adjusting your reality.Here's what you do. Change all your clocks, watches, sundials to a different time. Put up old calendars from 1968 around the house. Refuse to accept anyone telling you that you're wrong. After a short while, you'll begin to think that this new reality is...well...reality. Now you can redeem all those lost moments, relive the fun days, undo the mistakes of the past...err...ummm...present.At the very least, you'll save money on new calendars.(P.S. Don't forget to reset your forum time to your new reality time. You don't want to be posting in the future, do you?) :)

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Change all your clocks, watches, sundials to a different time. Put up old calendars from 1968 around the house.
I think you have a winner with that idea - maybe copywright or trademark it so you can make a mint. I find that near holidays, I have more to do than the alloted time allows. With your method, Christmas will come, oh about April. For all you folks not ready for April 15th, just do as jeber suggested. (Any idea how we can convince the IRS to go along with THE PLAN?) :) :) :hmm:
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  • 4 weeks later...

(really big voice)Who dares to disturb the sanctity of the Really Bad Advice thread?Fee Fi Fo Fum!!(end really big voice)

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i just got dsl, and i was wondering, where do i put it?and also, i heard you can make it go faster?
Dsl, short for diesel, is a fuel that should only be put in a vehicle, never a computer. :o Oh wait...one of my crack research team (would you guys plese quit smoking that stuff, there's nothing left to research about it) has informed me that you might be referring to a form of connection to the internet also called dsl. If indeed that is what you were asking about, I have good news for you. It would seem dsl is a broad-band connection. This means it's wider than the regular type connection, which is called either pathetic, dial up, or all-I-could-afford. Broad band connections allow more bits of information, called bits of information, to fit through the connection side-by-side, thus permitting greater possibilities for all those 1's and 0's to arrange themselves into a machine readable configuration quicker. No one has ever explained to me why our machines need anything to read...maybe they get bored in between games of solitaire, too...but it's nice to know that broadband will give your computer something with which to amuse itself sooner than those computers belonging to those other cash-strapped users.Anyway, you should have a cable from your dsl provider that you are supposed to plug into the back of your computer. I'm not real sure where. Just keep poking the plug into the empty holes back there, technically referred to as empty holes, until it fits, even sort of, into one. Then, and this step is very important, take a magic marker and label that hole "dsl". This is so that 1) your computer will recognize that hole as the dsl connection and "enable" it (to "enable" a connection means that your computer will allow the connection to drink and abuse drugs without trying to discourage such behavior...as in "I have enabled my team of crack researchers...") and 2) so that you'll know which hole to stick the plug back into should it ever fall out. You'll know if the plug falls out, as you will notice "packet loss". See, to make sending all those loose 1's and 0's over wires easier, they're grouped into small "packets" and tied together with string (that is only a theory). When your dsl plug falls out, these packets will be scattered all over the floor behind your computer. When you notice these packets laying about, you'll know your connection has come loose.To speed up your dsl connection, you need to understand that with dsl, the further those packets have to travel, the more bits fall out of the packets and block up the line. So the closer you are to where the lines originates, the more 1's and 0's get to your computer. This is a good thing. So I'd recommend that you find where your dsl line leaves the pole out behind your house, yurt, homeless shelter...and nail the box containing your computer to the poll right below that. Throw some plastic sheeting over the box to protect it from bad weather. You may need an extension cable for your monitor, and I'd recommend a wireless keyboard/mouse combination for this sort of setup. That way you can sit in the comfort of your apartment, hovel, jail cell and still post to your favorite forum...whichever one that might be.Hope this helps.web_link.jpg
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Guest LilBambi

OK, OK, now that I have managed to finally stop laughing long enough to pick myself up off of the floor ... I will have to say that this is definitely one of the funniest theories on diesel I have ever heard Jeber. :D :o :o :rolleyes:

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:thumbsup: My reply to this diesel... err, dsl... theory didn't go through??? I thought it did??... :thumbsup: Nice little thoery though. :D :thumbsup: Never run diesel in a gas engine, or was it the steam engine??? :whistling:But since you're on the topic of broadband, how does this broadband cable internet stuff work with my tv? Where does this square plug they call RJ-45 go to on the back of my tv? Or should I use this USP port thingy instead?
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First, we have to know what holes you have available on the back of your TV. It's all about the holes. :hmm:

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