Jump to content

Further tales of the Tiki Lounge


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 116
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Cluttermagnet

    48

  • Temmu

    17

  • novice_hack_writer

    6

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

From the archive of 'Posts That Never Made It Onto the Net', one escapes...       Roadie Dirk Ristdagger refolded his copy of the King's Nose Chronicle and scanned the headlines on page 2. He took

Dirk Ristdagger looked up from his vintage 80's futurist magazine and took a sip from his now cold coffee. Catching Louise's eye, he grinned and tilted his mug, cupping it with his free hand. She smi

Cluttermagnet
Let your fingers do the walking

 

 

(Long, slow exhale...)

 

An empty slate...

Dirk sighed, remembering how school supplies were purchased in the last few days before... before... it was so much easier, looking over the big displays of shiny new ring binders, packs of punched, lined paper, a riot of pens and pencils in so many colors, those pink, wedge shaped erasers... before...

 

That was the klinker. Came the day, one had to be at the bus stop in the cool darkness of early morning... how would it be this year? A relatively happy year? Another tough one? That first day drifted by almost dreamlike. How could one simultaneously be fully immersed in an uncomfortable experience, viewing it in extreme detail, and at the same time detached from it, looking down on it as if one were spectator only? The days got easier, it was always the first that was hardest. An empty slate? Well, perhaps the newly opened notebook paper at least...

 

Is it any wonder that young Dirk began developing geek tendencies, just as he hit his teen years? The day to day school experience quickly receded into a somewhat distant second place, yet it unexpectedly and ironically exposed Dirk to a technical field early on, which quickly leaped to the forefront. Here were much more interesting- no, fascinating things- magical, sometimes mysterious things that could be taken apart and reassembled, and sometimes even worked! Yes, Dirk became a young radio man, and in that, began finding identity and meaning at last. The romance of the radio airwaves! Better late than never...

 

 

Roadie Dirk was startled from his reveries. There stood Barney, toting a mug of coffee. Uh- what? Coffee? "Hey Chief, it's been a while." Barney looked different somehow. Had he lost weight? He was sporting a good tan. "Holy cow, Barney! What have you all done to the old Tiki? I hardly recognize the place!" Dirk looked down at the cup of coffee in his own hands, and remembered he's been chatting with Bambi just a moment ago. It was the unfamiliarity of the moment, the lights, the merry chatter- that had whisked him away to glimpse dimly remembered moments from his past. "Yep, there's no place like home..."

 

 

Next week: Projection TV or inter-dimensional rift?

Edited by Cluttermagnet
Link to post
Share on other sites
Cluttermagnet

Dirk strode to the wall where Eric had last been seen. Under the old Tiki Lounge sign, the wall was still shimmering, much like a movie theater screen. "Eric's playing with one of his PC's, as usual," offered Barney. "The images don't make much sense. I think he still has a lot of debugging to do. We were all watching the game, anyway." He pointed to a more normal looking flat screen set hanging over the bar, where players in muddy uniforms tumbled about like warring gymnasts.

 

Ristdagger stuck the fingers of his right hand into the shimmery wall. They disappeared, then up to the wrist, then up to the elbows. He couldn't see his arm- well, maybe faintly. Nearly up to his shoulder now, he felt something solid like a wall. It felt like the same old rough hewn timbers he remembered. He stuck his head in. It was the wall.

 

Dirk turned his head to the left and... he saw himself! No, it was three of him, all identical. No, it was hundreds of him, all moving slightly in perfect unison. He was so startled he stepped into the image. Immediately there was a faint sound like a light bulb being crushed underfoot, but with soft overtones like tiny crystal bells. The shimmery wall winked out of existence, and out of the corner of his eyes, he caught a brief glimpse of something like tiny orange coals- no, tiny white stars on the floor, circing about very fast in tiny orbits, or flying away quickly like shooting stars. They also winked out in milliseconds, leaving Dirk feeling slightly blinded.

 

Next to the wall sat a small table loaded with what looked like electronics gear, but Eric was nowhere to be seen. The crowd noises from the TV swelled to a roar as one of the teams scored a touchdown. Heads swiveled back and forth, back and forth between bar and end wall. "Hmmm, that's some alienware he's got there," mused Dirk, softly aloud. He took another sip of his coffee. It was already getting cold...

 

 

 

Next week: Super Bowl winners revealed, plot thickens

Edited by Cluttermagnet
Link to post
Share on other sites
... the Inter-dimensional rift. Preferably with a temporal causality loop.

Fair enough... just keep in mind that cyclic permutation within futurum preteriti is a triviality.

 

 

:P

Link to post
Share on other sites
Cluttermagnet

No blue plasma discharges or empirical quasi- causality quantum discontinuity loop probability density functions in this thread! Why, the Time Police would be on us in milliseconds...

 

 

 

Sign over the bar: This is a high class universe- act respectable

Edited by Cluttermagnet
Link to post
Share on other sites
ross549
Fair enough... just keep in mind that cyclic permutation within futurum preteriti is a triviality.

 

Everyone learns that in kindergarten these days.......

 

:P

 

Adam

Link to post
Share on other sites

the timeship aeon (1) quietly eased into geosynchronous orbit above the tiki lounge.

 

unbeknownst to those remaining in the tiki lounge, 3 men appeared dressed in (what they thought was) 20th century business-causal(2) attire: hawaiian shirts, kakhi shorts, flip-flops and bright pink straw hats. security(3) (white hawaiian shirt, orange flowers, green leaves) whispered to commander (bright green hawaiian shirt, orange flowers, rainbow colored parakeets), "sir! my temporal scanner shows nothing." commander rolled his eyes, shaking his head, "you goofball, that's a medical temporal fever indicator." science (obnoxiously short shorts, fluorescent blue hawaiian shirt, white flowers), "commander, the time-rift is over there." more scanning. "it is evident that that device on the table converted the user to a consciousness-energy-sphere and sent it through the rift." nodding, the commander spoke, "we should work swiftly to seal it before more damage is done!" science replied, "but sir, that will trap the human on the other side." yet none of the tiki lounge rats noticed their presence, still busy listening to dirk and focusing on the rift. the commander gasped, "no! those other humans are..."

 

 

 

(1) ala s.t. voyager - but federation, they ain't...

(2) causal - correct spelling

(3) unfortunately, the aoen's crew's names can't be spellt with english alphabet. i've uploaded a file with their pronunciations, but they sound like flatulence.

 

.... "Hmmm, that's some alienware he's got there," mused Dirk, softly aloud. He took another sip of his coffee. It was already getting cold...

 

:hysterical: perfect!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Cluttermagnet

The Time Police® materialized on the bridge of the Aeon in standard boarding configuration, the Commander in the center and the formation around her spaced like the points of a hexagon, pointing outwards, weapons drawn and ready. The three man crew of the Aeon was caught flat- footed. They knew better than to resist. Their arms slowly raised, all hand held devices clattered to the deck, spinning away randomly.

 

"Captain Omen, you have been found guilty of possession of an unlicensed temporal manipulation generator and of willful disturbance of the temporal flow of a Class A4 primitive planet harboring rudimentary intelligent lifeforms. You know the consequences..."

 

Omen hung his head, saying only "Yes, Timekeeper. But we sought only to study, not to collect."

 

"Noted. For that reason your lives will be spared, if that's any consolation. Study them you will. For one hundred standard years in this timespace locale. If you survive, you will be repatriated to your home system to face justice there. Good luck. You should know better. We'll be monitoring for any temporal cross- contamination. Don't do anything stupid. I'd hate to have to come after you, and have to clean up again."

 

The Timekeeper nodded to her XO. The boarding party made quick adjustments to their weapons and...

the rogue three man crew dematerialized from the deck of their vessel...

 

and materialized seated at the small table under the old Tiki Lounge sign-

wearing loud polyester Hawaiian shirts and hats.

 

The Timekeeper nodded in the direction of the bearded orb hiding anxiously in a corner. "Send this one back too. Interval mind- scrubbed, of course, with a temporal continuity flow grafted into consciousness."

 

"Very good, Timekeeper." The bearded orb dematerialized from the deck... and Eric materialized seated at the table with the alienware computer.

 

The rogue temporal pirates' ship dematerialized permanently in its orbit, followed soon thereafter by the Timekeeper's vessel.

 

Barney looked away from the TV over the Bar. The Giants had just scored another TD. "Ahhh- I see that the karaoke band finally got around to showing up. I've been wanting to sing 'Moon River' for the longest time..."

 

Roadie Dirk almost dropped his coffee mug. "repeekemiT- whaaa???" A few drops of coffee splattered on the floor in front of him...

 

 

 

Next week: Roadie Dirk says "What the heck just happened?"

 

Clutternote®: Casual causalities exceptionally dangerous in the hands of type A4 planet primitives.

Edited by Cluttermagnet
Link to post
Share on other sites
Corrine
The boarding party made quick adjustments to their weapons and...

the rogue three man crew dematerialized from the deck of their vessel...

 

and materialized seated at the small table under the old Tiki Lounge sign-

wearing loud polyester Hawaiian shirts and hats.

 

Oh, Clutter, is that the true story behind the appearance of Bruno Mars on the music scene? Did Captain Omen take the name of our beloved Bruno and fabricate a history of being from Hawaiian to explain his choice of wardrobe when discovered in the Tiki Lounge?

Link to post
Share on other sites

aboard the timeship aeon:

 

the ship lurched, spilling the captain's latte on his freshly pressed dress whites. [deleted expletive!!!]

amidst the glowing neon displays, the chief chrono-navigator barked, "captain! we've been displace 100 years into our future"

smoke wafted from the comm panel, comm handed a message to captain, it read, "from: time police. to: captain of aeon. msg: you have been sent ahead and frozen in time to wait await the return of your errant crew. they'll let you know why when they get back. lol."

captain to comm, "does this message end with laugh-out-loud?"

comm, "yes, sir."

captain, somewhat red-faced, "bozos! comm, prepare a stealth inter-time message torpedo to admiral. this isn't over yet!"

 

back at the tiki lounge:

 

security to commander, "sir, the human they call "temmu" keeps saying my name. how is it possible he knows me?"

commander, shaking his head, "he's producing flatulence, it merely sounds like your name."

 

and at corrine's table:

 

corrine announces, "those men keep making flatulence sounds..."

erik noticed too, and that's when the ice broke. approaching corrine, he whispered, "they are not from earth! and their speech sounds like flatulence to our untrained ears."

 

science to commander, "sir, their staring at us!"

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

at the tiki lounge:

 

snap! - crackle! - pop! like a bowl of rice crispies, but vastly louder, and so brief!

the hawaiian shirt clad folks vanished! the apparition under the screen where eric had gone was gone.

and the lounge rats stared in utter silence, amazed.

 

aboard the aeon:

 

it had been a month and a week, ship's time.

"got 'em back, captain!" cried engineer, gleefully!

"wha' happen', cap'ain?" wondered commander.

captain filled them in on the stealth torpedo to admiral, and how that admiral had contacted his friend and time command. from there things were set in motion to return the aeon to the present, and here we are, and here you are. we also repaired the time rift "eric" and his alienware caused.

"take us out of orbit, helm. we're never coming here again!" captain ordered.

 

back at tiki:

 

the bartender sighed, "does this mean no karaoke tonight?"

Edited by Temmu
Link to post
Share on other sites
Cluttermagnet
Oh, Clutter, is that the true story behind the appearance of Bruno Mars on the music scene? Did Captain Omen take the name of our beloved Bruno and fabricate a history of being from Hawaiian to explain his choice of wardrobe when discovered in the Tiki Lounge?

I'd never heard of that Bruno. Did a quick listen to some samples of him on Amazon, read his bio on Wikipedia. I take it he is a flamboyant dresser? His voice really stands out, and you can hear the genre- spanning. He's not stuck in any one genre. Refreshingly, he actually sings. Rap has made a whole generation of music generally thin and colorless for me. This guys's work I like. He's pretty good. I never would have suspected he was an alien. ;)

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
cluttemagnet ... what's up w/the story line?? i don't recall the hawaiian-shirt guys' ship photon-torpedoing the tiki lounge... all was left as it was found...
Link to post
Share on other sites
Cluttermagnet
cluttemagnet ... what's up w/the story line?? i don't recall the hawaiian-shirt guys' ship photon-torpedoing the tiki lounge... all was left as it was found...

 

Reclusive writer rumored to be readying new episode of Tiki Lounge...

Film at eleven... ;)

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Cluttermagnet

Roadie Dirk sat at the counter of the Lincoln Diner absently stabbing at his multiberry waffles with his fork. Random rivulets of syrup and melted butter swirled around the waffles like an edible Rorschach. Dirk ignored the obvious temptation to self analyze. "repeekemiT" once again popped into his mind. He wrote it on his napkin. It was the darnedest thing, this little anomaly of his imagination that kept reappearing from time to time. "Re-peak/ Emit"? he mused. "Re-peak Emitt"? Memories of Emitt Rhodes flooded back from the past, as Dirk puzzled over this pesky anagram. Rhodes had been talented, but somewhat of a flash in the pan. He released a few records, then lapsed into obscurity, as had so many before him. Interesting artist- he recorded all his tracks at home. He was a one man band. Played all his backup instruments, did all his voice overs, mixed it all together from numerous multiple tracks. What was it about Rhodes? All of his songs sounded so... alike. And Rhodes favored a rather busy sound. Kept a Vu meter constantly at the upper end of its range. Listen to him long enough and you felt like you had been beaten about the head and shoulders. It was tiring...

 

Peek and poke. Those were commands, back in the days of the BASIC programming language. PEEK- read from memory. POKE- write into memory... "Re-PEEK/ EMIT? 'Peak a circuit'- adjust an amplifier or oscillator for greatest output?" Nah, couldn't be geek related...

 

No, couldn't be Emitt Rhodes, either. The anagram must be about something else. Ristdagger held his butter knife, which happened to be new and unusually shiny, next to the doodle with "repeekemiT" and noted that mirror- reflections from any angle didn't make much sense either. Ahhh, but what about the capitalization of the "T". He pulled out his pen and wrote it backwards. He had just spelled "Timekeeper". "Hmmm..." he mused. "Mmm mmm mmm..."

 

Louise had returned to the Lincoln Diner, but on terms much more to her liking. She didn't need the job now- rather, the Lincoln needed her. The old Tibetan place had finally closed down, a victim of the recession. Seems like tourist dollars had mostly been keeping the place afloat. When that went, the bottom fell out. The locals didn't go in that much for yak buttered tea. But the Lincoln soldiered on. The townsfolk loved the atmosphere and the friendly service, and breakfast was ever popular at the Lincoln, any time of day. Dirk caught her eye, raised his coffee mug slightly, along with his trademark grin. She paused in her chat with Miss Faye, long enough to indicate with a slight downward wave of her index finger that she was on the case. " Life is good..." thought Dirk, as he absently wiggled the napkin doodle as if it were a jigsaw puzzle piece. "...and what a great development- the Old Tiki being re-adopted by the townfolk... who would have guessed it?"

 

 

Next week: No karaoke at "The Restaurant at the Edge of the Universe" this week, either. Darn it!

And: Edible Rorschach craze's origin traced back to Sweltenham diner...

Edited by Cluttermagnet
Link to post
Share on other sites
Cluttermagnet

"This edible Rorschach craze has gotten completely out of hand" mused Roadie Dirk. He absently rubbed his several days old stubble and resolved to shave again- soon. Although several had suggested that karaoke would be a great addition to the ambiance at the Restaurant at the Edge of the Universe, they had yet to attract any local talent. Sweltenham was a little isolated by a ridge line which divided it from the neighboring valley- and of course Sweltenham had just recently exited Prohibition, but its many years as a dry town had stunted its growth. The old Tiki had had an odd reputation as the sort of 'bar' that attracted eccentrics, vegetarians, peaceniks, computer geeks, and old farmers. Not exactly a swinging place. Even today, it was not yet a restaurant, it was more of a coffee shop laid out like a bar and grill restaurant. It was all informal- no cash register- everything was on the honor system. Patrons tossed their money into a big goldfish bowl and made their own change. Nobody wanted to pick it up and run with it, it was just an alternative to the Lincoln where folks could also settle in and relax and socialise. And of course Dirk still lived there, rent free, in the back. Only two things were served- coffee and a rather unique dessert. Folks could bring with them anything else they wanted. Among those things, beers were the most often seen items.

 

The influx of tourists and the few 'big city' folk who had been drawn to the valley in recent years had finally tilted the town a little more towards the mainstream. Still, it had been a shock when the newcomers overwhelmed their opposition at the Town Council meeting, catching the Old Guard off balance and ushering the little town into the Twentieth Century at last, no longer dry. Well, OK, it's the twenty-first century now, but a little town can stand only so much change at one time.

 

Who would have guessed that Roadie Dirk's edible Rorschach invention would be such a hit? It was even siphoning off a little of the traffic at the Lincoln, lately. Dirk's claim to fame was the idea of an ice cream cake with a unique topping that just cried out for interpretation. Customers would be personally served their desserts by Roadie Dirk, who would chat with them for a few minutes about the unique pattern on their cake. They could have Dirk interpret it for them, or could take a stab at it themselves. Eventually, hunger would win out, and their innermost secrets made a wonderful dessert. Rumor had it that several copycats had popped up nearby, but they didn't have Roadie Dirk. It was really standup comedy where the audience gets served dessert during the performance, not a bad idea at that. Sometimes there was even a wait, if Dirk was particularly busy. He often performed to tables of folks who were pretty wired from drinking multiple cups of coffee. Surprisingly, the Rorschach creations didn't appeal near as much to the drinkers, who seemed to favor more salty, fried sorts of snacks.

 

Dirk hadn't thought of the anagram for several days. Every now and then it would pop in at random: "repeekemiT", and of course he would counter it with "Timekeeper". It bugged him that he could not connect "repeekemiT" with anything in the world or in his own life. Ah well, the ice cream cakes with the delicious and suggestive maple syrup and butter topping were popular, maybe a bit too popular...

Edited by Cluttermagnet
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...