Cluttermagnet Posted February 5, 2012 Author Share Posted February 5, 2012 (edited) Dirk strode to the wall where Eric had last been seen. Under the old Tiki Lounge sign, the wall was still shimmering, much like a movie theater screen. "Eric's playing with one of his PC's, as usual," offered Barney. "The images don't make much sense. I think he still has a lot of debugging to do. We were all watching the game, anyway." He pointed to a more normal looking flat screen set hanging over the bar, where players in muddy uniforms tumbled about like warring gymnasts. Ristdagger stuck the fingers of his right hand into the shimmery wall. They disappeared, then up to the wrist, then up to the elbows. He couldn't see his arm- well, maybe faintly. Nearly up to his shoulder now, he felt something solid like a wall. It felt like the same old rough hewn timbers he remembered. He stuck his head in. It was the wall. Dirk turned his head to the left and... he saw himself! No, it was three of him, all identical. No, it was hundreds of him, all moving slightly in perfect unison. He was so startled he stepped into the image. Immediately there was a faint sound like a light bulb being crushed underfoot, but with soft overtones like tiny crystal bells. The shimmery wall winked out of existence, and out of the corner of his eyes, he caught a brief glimpse of something like tiny orange coals- no, tiny white stars on the floor, circing about very fast in tiny orbits, or flying away quickly like shooting stars. They also winked out in milliseconds, leaving Dirk feeling slightly blinded. Next to the wall sat a small table loaded with what looked like electronics gear, but Eric was nowhere to be seen. The crowd noises from the TV swelled to a roar as one of the teams scored a touchdown. Heads swiveled back and forth, back and forth between bar and end wall. "Hmmm, that's some alienware he's got there," mused Dirk, softly aloud. He took another sip of his coffee. It was already getting cold... Next week: Super Bowl winners revealed, plot thickens Edited February 6, 2012 by Cluttermagnet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 Fun stuff! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Urmas Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 ... the Inter-dimensional rift. Preferably with a temporal causality loop. Fair enough... just keep in mind that cyclic permutation within futurum preteriti is a triviality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cluttermagnet Posted February 6, 2012 Author Share Posted February 6, 2012 (edited) No blue plasma discharges or empirical quasi- causality quantum discontinuity loop probability density functions in this thread! Why, the Time Police would be on us in milliseconds... Sign over the bar: This is a high class universe- act respectable Edited February 6, 2012 by Cluttermagnet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ross549 Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 Fair enough... just keep in mind that cyclic permutation within futurum preteriti is a triviality. Everyone learns that in kindergarten these days....... Adam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V.T. Eric Layton Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 I didn't go to kindergarten. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cluttermagnet Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 (edited) The Time Police® materialized on the bridge of the Aeon in standard boarding configuration, the Commander in the center and the formation around her spaced like the points of a hexagon, pointing outwards, weapons drawn and ready. The three man crew of the Aeon was caught flat- footed. They knew better than to resist. Their arms slowly raised, all hand held devices clattered to the deck, spinning away randomly. "Captain Omen, you have been found guilty of possession of an unlicensed temporal manipulation generator and of willful disturbance of the temporal flow of a Class A4 primitive planet harboring rudimentary intelligent lifeforms. You know the consequences..." Omen hung his head, saying only "Yes, Timekeeper. But we sought only to study, not to collect." "Noted. For that reason your lives will be spared, if that's any consolation. Study them you will. For one hundred standard years in this timespace locale. If you survive, you will be repatriated to your home system to face justice there. Good luck. You should know better. We'll be monitoring for any temporal cross- contamination. Don't do anything stupid. I'd hate to have to come after you, and have to clean up again." The Timekeeper nodded to her XO. The boarding party made quick adjustments to their weapons and... the rogue three man crew dematerialized from the deck of their vessel... and materialized seated at the small table under the old Tiki Lounge sign- wearing loud polyester Hawaiian shirts and hats. The Timekeeper nodded in the direction of the bearded orb hiding anxiously in a corner. "Send this one back too. Interval mind- scrubbed, of course, with a temporal continuity flow grafted into consciousness." "Very good, Timekeeper." The bearded orb dematerialized from the deck... and Eric materialized seated at the table with the alienware computer. The rogue temporal pirates' ship dematerialized permanently in its orbit, followed soon thereafter by the Timekeeper's vessel. Barney looked away from the TV over the Bar. The Giants had just scored another TD. "Ahhh- I see that the karaoke band finally got around to showing up. I've been wanting to sing 'Moon River' for the longest time..." Roadie Dirk almost dropped his coffee mug. "repeekemiT- whaaa???" A few drops of coffee splattered on the floor in front of him... Next week: Roadie Dirk says "What the heck just happened?" Clutternote®: Casual causalities exceptionally dangerous in the hands of type A4 planet primitives. Edited February 7, 2012 by Cluttermagnet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corrine Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 The boarding party made quick adjustments to their weapons and... the rogue three man crew dematerialized from the deck of their vessel... and materialized seated at the small table under the old Tiki Lounge sign- wearing loud polyester Hawaiian shirts and hats. Oh, Clutter, is that the true story behind the appearance of Bruno Mars on the music scene? Did Captain Omen take the name of our beloved Bruno and fabricate a history of being from Hawaiian to explain his choice of wardrobe when discovered in the Tiki Lounge? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cluttermagnet Posted February 8, 2012 Author Share Posted February 8, 2012 OMG! Divergent time lines! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cluttermagnet Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) Sayonara, grasshopper. May the farce be with us... Edited February 9, 2012 by Cluttermagnet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cluttermagnet Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 Oh, Clutter, is that the true story behind the appearance of Bruno Mars on the music scene? Did Captain Omen take the name of our beloved Bruno and fabricate a history of being from Hawaiian to explain his choice of wardrobe when discovered in the Tiki Lounge? I'd never heard of that Bruno. Did a quick listen to some samples of him on Amazon, read his bio on Wikipedia. I take it he is a flamboyant dresser? His voice really stands out, and you can hear the genre- spanning. He's not stuck in any one genre. Refreshingly, he actually sings. Rap has made a whole generation of music generally thin and colorless for me. This guys's work I like. He's pretty good. I never would have suspected he was an alien. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ross549 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Not like your sixth grade teacher? We all know where she comes from........ Adam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cluttermagnet Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 Yeah, I was overlooking obvious exceptions like my grade school teacher or Al Roker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cluttermagnet Posted February 27, 2012 Author Share Posted February 27, 2012 cluttemagnet ... what's up w/the story line?? i don't recall the hawaiian-shirt guys' ship photon-torpedoing the tiki lounge... all was left as it was found... Reclusive writer rumored to be readying new episode of Tiki Lounge... Film at eleven... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cluttermagnet Posted March 6, 2012 Author Share Posted March 6, 2012 (edited) Roadie Dirk sat at the counter of the Lincoln Diner absently stabbing at his multiberry waffles with his fork. Random rivulets of syrup and melted butter swirled around the waffles like an edible Rorschach. Dirk ignored the obvious temptation to self analyze. "repeekemiT" once again popped into his mind. He wrote it on his napkin. It was the darnedest thing, this little anomaly of his imagination that kept reappearing from time to time. "Re-peak/ Emit"? he mused. "Re-peak Emitt"? Memories of Emitt Rhodes flooded back from the past, as Dirk puzzled over this pesky anagram. Rhodes had been talented, but somewhat of a flash in the pan. He released a few records, then lapsed into obscurity, as had so many before him. Interesting artist- he recorded all his tracks at home. He was a one man band. Played all his backup instruments, did all his voice overs, mixed it all together from numerous multiple tracks. What was it about Rhodes? All of his songs sounded so... alike. And Rhodes favored a rather busy sound. Kept a Vu meter constantly at the upper end of its range. Listen to him long enough and you felt like you had been beaten about the head and shoulders. It was tiring... Peek and poke. Those were commands, back in the days of the BASIC programming language. PEEK- read from memory. POKE- write into memory... "Re-PEEK/ EMIT? 'Peak a circuit'- adjust an amplifier or oscillator for greatest output?" Nah, couldn't be geek related... No, couldn't be Emitt Rhodes, either. The anagram must be about something else. Ristdagger held his butter knife, which happened to be new and unusually shiny, next to the doodle with "repeekemiT" and noted that mirror- reflections from any angle didn't make much sense either. Ahhh, but what about the capitalization of the "T". He pulled out his pen and wrote it backwards. He had just spelled "Timekeeper". "Hmmm..." he mused. "Mmm mmm mmm..." Louise had returned to the Lincoln Diner, but on terms much more to her liking. She didn't need the job now- rather, the Lincoln needed her. The old Tibetan place had finally closed down, a victim of the recession. Seems like tourist dollars had mostly been keeping the place afloat. When that went, the bottom fell out. The locals didn't go in that much for yak buttered tea. But the Lincoln soldiered on. The townsfolk loved the atmosphere and the friendly service, and breakfast was ever popular at the Lincoln, any time of day. Dirk caught her eye, raised his coffee mug slightly, along with his trademark grin. She paused in her chat with Miss Faye, long enough to indicate with a slight downward wave of her index finger that she was on the case. " Life is good..." thought Dirk, as he absently wiggled the napkin doodle as if it were a jigsaw puzzle piece. "...and what a great development- the Old Tiki being re-adopted by the townfolk... who would have guessed it?" Next week: No karaoke at "The Restaurant at the Edge of the Universe" this week, either. Darn it! And: Edible Rorschach craze's origin traced back to Sweltenham diner... Edited March 6, 2012 by Cluttermagnet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cluttermagnet Posted March 8, 2012 Author Share Posted March 8, 2012 (edited) "This edible Rorschach craze has gotten completely out of hand" mused Roadie Dirk. He absently rubbed his several days old stubble and resolved to shave again- soon. Although several had suggested that karaoke would be a great addition to the ambiance at the Restaurant at the Edge of the Universe, they had yet to attract any local talent. Sweltenham was a little isolated by a ridge line which divided it from the neighboring valley- and of course Sweltenham had just recently exited Prohibition, but its many years as a dry town had stunted its growth. The old Tiki had had an odd reputation as the sort of 'bar' that attracted eccentrics, vegetarians, peaceniks, computer geeks, and old farmers. Not exactly a swinging place. Even today, it was not yet a restaurant, it was more of a coffee shop laid out like a bar and grill restaurant. It was all informal- no cash register- everything was on the honor system. Patrons tossed their money into a big goldfish bowl and made their own change. Nobody wanted to pick it up and run with it, it was just an alternative to the Lincoln where folks could also settle in and relax and socialise. And of course Dirk still lived there, rent free, in the back. Only two things were served- coffee and a rather unique dessert. Folks could bring with them anything else they wanted. Among those things, beers were the most often seen items. The influx of tourists and the few 'big city' folk who had been drawn to the valley in recent years had finally tilted the town a little more towards the mainstream. Still, it had been a shock when the newcomers overwhelmed their opposition at the Town Council meeting, catching the Old Guard off balance and ushering the little town into the Twentieth Century at last, no longer dry. Well, OK, it's the twenty-first century now, but a little town can stand only so much change at one time. Who would have guessed that Roadie Dirk's edible Rorschach invention would be such a hit? It was even siphoning off a little of the traffic at the Lincoln, lately. Dirk's claim to fame was the idea of an ice cream cake with a unique topping that just cried out for interpretation. Customers would be personally served their desserts by Roadie Dirk, who would chat with them for a few minutes about the unique pattern on their cake. They could have Dirk interpret it for them, or could take a stab at it themselves. Eventually, hunger would win out, and their innermost secrets made a wonderful dessert. Rumor had it that several copycats had popped up nearby, but they didn't have Roadie Dirk. It was really standup comedy where the audience gets served dessert during the performance, not a bad idea at that. Sometimes there was even a wait, if Dirk was particularly busy. He often performed to tables of folks who were pretty wired from drinking multiple cups of coffee. Surprisingly, the Rorschach creations didn't appeal near as much to the drinkers, who seemed to favor more salty, fried sorts of snacks. Dirk hadn't thought of the anagram for several days. Every now and then it would pop in at random: "repeekemiT", and of course he would counter it with "Timekeeper". It bugged him that he could not connect "repeekemiT" with anything in the world or in his own life. Ah well, the ice cream cakes with the delicious and suggestive maple syrup and butter topping were popular, maybe a bit too popular... Edited March 8, 2012 by Cluttermagnet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Awesome to see you back to your writing Clutter! Enjoying it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cluttermagnet Posted March 8, 2012 Author Share Posted March 8, 2012 Yay! I have at least one reader- heck, maybe two or three. That's essentially why Jeber said to make it interactive so you don't embarrass yourself playing to an empty house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 Or at least feel like you are playing to an empty house. Just wanted you to know you were not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V.T. Eric Layton Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Yay! I have at least one reader- heck, maybe two or three. That's essentially why Jeber said to make it interactive so you don't embarrass yourself playing to an empty house. I read EVERY word you type... TWICE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
securitybreach Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Great piece Clutter, I enjoyed it a lot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corrine Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Count me in too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cluttermagnet Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 Well, gawrsh! T'anks, guys! :"> I think we got quite a few writers in here, actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cluttermagnet Posted March 16, 2012 Author Share Posted March 16, 2012 Ahem- As unofficial historian of the Cooler, I humbly submit the following resource material for your consideration: Chronicles (Note the 3 clickable links): Further tales of the Tiki Lounge, an interactive story (Read at bottom of Post #32) Forerunner to Tiki Lounge Really Bad Advice, I'm here for you... Which devolves into a discussion about the pros and cons of axe- er- shovel murders Really Bad Advice, I'm here for you... That thread was really a hoot! But there was a war breaking out- something was needed to break the tension... Jeber's original Tiki Lounge The Tiki Lounge, All dudes and dudettes welcome... QOMOMI- Quasi-Official Minister Of Mis-Information (inspired by actual events at the time) Clutter's original post in the fading Tiki venue (Post #303): The Tiki Lounge, All dudes and dudettes welcome... That transplanted Holly is now over 6ft tall and is becoming an actual tree in my front yard- and the Raspberries are always good around July 4th- I harvest quarts of them at times. The split off "Further Tales... Tiki..." is born... Further tales of the Tiki Lounge, an interactive story Roadie Dirk Ristdagger was born in the Test forum, now erased. Unless the Wayback Machine happened to capture that. Here's a more modern rewrite: Sibilance It fails to capture details of the loudspeaker surfing phase- Roadie Dirk tries to arrest the fall of a large speaker off the stage and into the mosh pit- this caused by the hapless roadie's accidental erasure of the beginning of the lip sync tape- the bass player was so thrown off balance from having nothing to lip sync to that he knocked over a large monitor speaker- speaker surfing briefly eclipses guitar smashing in popularity... Whew! Enough history for now. I'm going to go annoy Bozoette for a while... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Read through it all. Man, one must need to take a Evelyn Woodhead, err, Evelyn Wood Speed Reading Course Hey, it was good enough for JFK* (who was said to read over 1000 wpm), right? (NOTE: Removed the link which has mostly broken links but one went to an unsafe rated site). Voiced by Tommy Chong, the piece begins with the words delivered phonetically: “ Ever since I took the Evelyn Woodhead sped ridin course, my ridin has [Tommy carefully sounds out the syllables somewhat incorrectly] im-PRO-v'd won-der-FULL-y. I ricommend these Evelyn Woodhed Speed Riddin Course to all my frens out there and you tell 'em that you heard it here first... on Roller Derby Quote from one of the Topics Clutter mentioned above: Old Doc Moody had a sign up on the wall that gave the simple imperatives for assistants in the field: (1.) Keep your head up (2.) Duck! (3.) Not necessarily in that order Thanks Clutter, oh, mighty unofficial forum historian!!! What a wonderful idea and walk down memory lane! Thank you! Reminds me of We Need A Name topic of discussion on what to call ourselves here in Scot Finnie's Scot's Newsletter Forums and how Highlanders was settled on. Some info on speed reading: To keep one safer, here's a bit of the blog posting: There are FIVE key points in common across all Speed Reading courses and books: 1. State - Being in a relaxed, alert state of mind, which is best for absorbing and remembering the information. Use a simple relaxation technique, such as taking a few deep breaths, before you begin. 2. Reading in layers (or levels), including browsing the information before starting, doing a high level overview and even a second read-through when finished, can improve your reading speed, comfort and comprehension. This layered approach may seem repetitive or slow, however it results overall in a massive increase in effectiveness and decrease in time spent reading a particular piece of material. 3. Speed Reading Techniques - Use your hand, finger or a pen on the page to keep your eyes moving forward. Other techniques also include points about page-turning and information on where to find key-points in the material. 4. Note Taking - In order to assimilate and remember the points made, take notes on what you have read, focussing on the key words. Mind Maps are a good technique for this. See this link for a: Free Mind Mapping Guide. 5. Speed Reading Courses. Attending a course with a qualified instructor means you will have the confidence of knowing that you are using the techniques in the correct way. A good Speed Reading course will cover all of the above points and take you through exercises to help with comprehension and memory, as well as increasing your reading speed. Apparently there are several books recommended for speed reading: The Evelyn Wood Seven-Day Speed Reading and Learning Program by Stanley D. Frank PhotoReading by Paul R. Scheele The Speed Reading Book by Tony Buzan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corrine Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Hard to believe it was so long ago that Jeber made us pick a name (We Need A Name). I had forgotten about the Kimberly-Clark/Scotties issue. Surprisingly, the voting was spread across the field -- and we were almost Scotters instead of Highlanders! (The Name Game). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I know! I am so glad it was Highlanders instead of Scotters. Nothing wrong with Scotters, but I just wasn't too excited about the name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corrine Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Not too far off topic. Its part of our history, as introduced by our unofficial historian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 It's great that Clutter took the time to go back through the forums to pull together those great historical topics! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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