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Jeber

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Welcome one and all. I am Jeber, your newly appointed (by secret ballot involving massive bribes and moderate ballot tampering) Quasi-Official Minister of (Mis)Information. In my new position, I shall endeavor to provide information not available anywhere else within these forums. But most of the content will be provided on a peer-to-peer basis. This means not only will you be able to discuss topics not covered in the other forums, share information that doesn't quite fit anywhere else...but that I will have less work to do myself. Other than the forum rules, I shall impose no new rules here. If it's on your mind...post it. If it's on the floor, sweep it up and throw it away. I should say that if you need serious help, post elsewhere in the forums. This is a thread in which to let your hair down, speak your mind, and spill all kinds of information that may or may not be used against you in the future. Penguins are welcome, but must remain leashed at all times.

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Penguins are welcome, but must remain leashed at all times.
Hope you've got a good leash, because he's one WILD, RAVING, LOONY, penguin :P(The penguin is sleeping now, so I'm safe for the time being :) )

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Since he's sleeping...let me ask you, Ryan. Now, I've never been to Bruno's part of the world, not while I was conscious, anyway. But I do read and I've seen pictures. How many penguins live there? :P

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You guys are being lulled into a false sense of security (like Democrats); Penguins don't sleep, and if they do, they post a "watch". He'll be here...oh yeah...he'll be here.OK, Jeeb? Good start? Content-generating enough for ya?I'm your slave.

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You guys/gals are all NUTS! (I may have finally found a home!)Acadia

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Since he's sleeping...let me ask you, Ryan.  Now, I've never been to Bruno's part of the world, not while I was conscious, anyway.  But I do read and I've seen pictures.  How many penguins live there?  B)
Better be careful now that he's up again, but I'm guessing that these penguins breed like rabbits! We'll have to be careful to make sure they don't get too out of hand... Personally, I've never been to that part of the world, but I can only imagine how much pain and suffering the people of that area are going through. Oh Minister of (Mis)Information... Protect us from those awful horrors! :o

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Better be careful now that he's up again, but I'm guessing that these penguins breed like rabbits!  We'll have to be careful to make sure they don't get too out of hand...  Personally, I've never been to that part of the world, but I can only imagine how much pain and suffering the people of that area are going through.  Oh Minister of (Mis)Information... Protect us from those awful horrors! :o
Oh, no they breed? B) We ar ein trouble here? Is that why he keeps trying to chase everyone? B) Oh Jeber, please keep this a penguin-free thread. I need somewhere to hide. :o ---------------Teach in hiding!

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Wasn't there a beer commercial (or something) a while back where this penguin went:Doobydoobydoo....and everyone was afraid?Hmmm....

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Wasn't there a beer commercial (or something) a while back where this penguin went:Doobydoobydoo....and everyone was afraid?Hmmm....
Yeah... I believe it was a Bud Ice commercial... those were some scary penguins!!!P.S. Jeber... make sure you keep our resident penguin out of here... wouldn't want him getting any ideas!

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Just to clarify, penguins cannot breed like rabbits. They are birds...lay eggs...small clutches. I suppose you could say they breed like pigeons. Since they can't fly, you won't find them on top of a statue. Eagles may soar, but a penguin has never been sucked into the intake of a jet engine. And they're always dressed for a party. Of course, Bruno is a breed apart. Lives in the wrong part of the world...seems to be attracted to curly haired people of any gender...uses Linux (now you know he's not typical)...can type, despite those stubby, useless little wings...needs sunglasses (blind?)...can't stand still...oh, the list goes on and on. Since nature has provided this avian wonder with a tuxedo, the best way to corral a penguin is to rattle a martini shaker and leave a trail of party invitations. To keep penguins off your yard ( a big problem in some parts of the world ), adopt a pet polar bear. To keep Bruno off your threads, well...I don't know...nothing seems to work. Maybe garlic??

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I know two words that will keep any penguin at bay:Sea WorldGolfProRM, love that graphic. Keep it handy, we may need it again. :blink:

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Did you notice that Penguin has not been on line for a couple of hours? He must have finally crashed after 5 days of non-stop computer use! :blink: I think it is safe to come out and play now.

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Thanks, Ryan. I've added it to my weapons locker...for my next encounter with that little sardine-swallower! :blink:

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Jeber... ready yourself... He's back!!! Hopefully the threats of Sea World will hold him off! :blink:

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Jeber --Nice new outpost you got here in Ministry of (Mis)Information ;)I loved your disertation on Penguins LOL!

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Hey Bruno.....SEA WORLD...SEA WORLD...SEA WORLD...Man, let's hope this works. :unsure:

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I bow to Jeber's superior knowledge of animals, but this may be a new breed ...

... but I'm guessing that these penguins breed like rabbits! We'll have to be careful to make sure they don't get too out of hand...
Have you seen Stryder's new avatar? Havnblast telling us that penguins are our friends?I have this recurring nightmare that I'm going to wake up and find out that Windows was all a dream, and Linux is the real OS. Always has been. Always will be.I feel like I could be ... enlightened ... at any moment.Penguin Power is real, and it's everyhere.(They don't sleep.)Aahhhhhh!Must ... get ... to ... Windows ... Forum.-- Scot

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Thank you, Scot, for pointing out to me that so far in the forums, these topics are all dominated by talk by and/or about a particular (and how!) penguin:All Things LinuxPenguin TalesCongrats Penquinnew testWelcome from our newest member!!Not to mention this one.I don't want to be cruel or insensitive to the penguin's feelings (do they have any?), but enough is enough! Sorry, let me regain my composure...OK...Now I'm not suggesting we wop him with a shovel or anything (Stryder, if you get any ideas...let me know), but there's got to be some way to corral him, restrict his movements, pen him in. We can't clip his wings...they're useless anyway. We could keep tossing him sardines, but the supply is just about run out. We could use electric fences, but that will effect all the members.I have an entire ministry at my disposal, there must be something of use around here to control penguin proliferation. I'm going to check the weapons vault...anyone with a suggestion, please post it here. No matter how helpful and charming this avian is, we need to find out how to control him. We don't want to come here one day and find Scot with a penguin avatar, do we? ^_^

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LOL! Wow, you guys are too funny! I just knew I had to get back to the Water Cooler ... I didn't want to miss out on all the fun. :( Jeber waving Sea World around like a talisman ... and calling in reinforcements (shovel, weapons, etc. and all the resources of his rather large (Mis)Information Ministry) to figure out how to corral our little well dressed avian friend.Stryder now a studious penguin!Scot having nightmares And Bruno with Penguin groupies following him around the Forums!BTW: You missed one -- the Really Bad Advice Topic! Have you seen the last few posts there!Boy oh, boy! Things are definitely always hopping around here! :( :( Jeber, you could try stapling his little webbed feed to the floor of the Forum of your choice (preferably All things Linux ;) )Bill Murray seemed to think that would work well to get the antlers to stay on the heads of (I think it was) hamsters or gerbils (or some other small rodent type creature) in the movie Scrooged?! Never know, might come in handy for something. :(

Edited by LilBambi

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Maybe his feathers got ruffled...wait, he doesn't have any...does he?...where's Bambi! We need a Google!

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PSYou guys, this is really easy. You want to control Penguin, you call Batman. "Yes Commissioner...Penguin...multithreading?...we'll be right there!Holy Cyberliloqy, Batman..he's loose again!

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Fran, have you noticed the thread has become a mutt...something between one of those multi-author, every-other-chapter, neverending on-line novels...and a soap opera?Think of all the story lines if we get a hundred or so new members posting here. Don't know if you saw the thread where I proffered this guy for your amusement...but just wait until he starts posting?I think my relationship to that penguin is more along the lines of Bill Murray in Caddyshack. I'm Bill, he's a feathered (Yes, jbredmound ((we need a nickname for you)), penguins have feathers...they just lay differently than most) gopher. I often replay those scenes in my head when I'm posting back and forth with him. :(

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LilBambi is Batman...sorta.

Sea World Penguin pages
SEA WORLD...SEA WORLD.....SEA WORLD.....There...that ought'a hold him until tomorrow. :(

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suggestion:has anyone ever noticed that polar bears and penguins do not live on the same continent?perhaps there's a reason for that? :ph34r: :P :D :P :D

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I log on this morning and what do I behold?.....Every other member of the forums (it seems) is sporting a penguin as their avatar. I just know that avian prankster is behind this...I know because it's such a fowl trick! He put you all up to this to drive me crazy, didn't he?? Well, I can counter this easy enough. I'll be sending this to the world press today.

Dateline: SFNL Forums 5-15-03 0830 Local............................................................................................."Scot Finnie Newsletter Forums" spokesman, the newly appointed quasi-official Minister of (Mis)Information Jeber, has today announced, "Contrary to rumor, there are no penguins in the forums.  I have traveled from one end of the site to the other, and at no time did I encounter a penguin.  No one is using a penguin as their avatar.  There are no threads, topics or forums discussing penguins.  No one here has ever seen a penguin.  In fact, very few members even know what a penguin looks like.  If we were to ever encounter a penguin in here, we would quickly pack them off to Sea World.  Let me add that there are no sardines in the forums, and no ice.  A penguin would find living conditions unbearable here."  Jeber states, "The forums are a friendly and informative venue intended to provide peer to peer support and information, not a hangout for unpredictable flightless birds with breath like a tackle box."  Scot Finnie was unavailable for comment, due to a frantic work schedule.

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I was hoping to remedy that problem, but I guess you've got it taken care of... Never have seen a penguin, but if I did, I'd have a nice, tasty snack. :ph34r: Yum!

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