Jeber Posted June 11, 2003 Author Share Posted June 11, 2003 snoepie, your experience is tragic, but familiar. Many of my contemporaries thought we'd grown up after Viet-Nam, but once we returned home, most of us eventually went back to being who we were before we left. Now I define adulthood as that moment you see that past experiences can give you insight into the future. And to get experience, you have to spend a number of years living. The amount of time needed to gain experience differs with each individual, but it's the experience, and the learning from it, that makes me an adult. When I was young, everything was happening for the first or second time. After a while, I began to see patterns to my experiences, and those patterns allowed me to control my future better.But overall...I still say being an adult sucks. I wanna play! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riff Posted June 11, 2003 Share Posted June 11, 2003 I think I used to be an adult. Things change though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoepie Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 Now I define adulthood as that moment you see that past experiences can give you insight into the future.Although I'm young (or probably because I'm young) I must disagree: can past experiences give you insight into the future? I don't think so!! Yes, on common issues I agree (don't smoke, don't use drugs, safe-sex, do good not bad, etc). But the really important things in life always "pop-up" by accident! Matters of love, faith, health and employment can turn your life upside down, but you can't really influence them. I.e.: the moment your wife cheats on you your reasonable (adult) first reaction could be "I k*ll her!!!" Although you will not do so, was your thinking mature? And your second wife (lol): how can you prevent her from cheating on you (your experience you know: how to control your future!).The moment you "link" experience to maturity no one is an adult (many previous posters suggest this). I stick to the physical definition: you're an adult the moment you can reproduce. And now ... let's go to bed and reproduce! (but the adult-industry gave us contraceptives, is this industry mature?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted June 12, 2003 Author Share Posted June 12, 2003 the moment your wife cheats on you your reasonable (adult) first reaction could be "I k*ll her!!!"My point exactly. As a younger man, to whom this may be happening for the first time, the shock might produce such a violent reaction. But a more mature person would have seen this happen many times to many people, and thus the response would be more tempered, less reactionary. When things are happeneing to you for only the first or second time, the experience is startling and confusing. About the fifth time, you start to see and appreciate the patterns of life...you realize this has happened countless times before and you can react to it more calmly and rationally.This is all just my opinion and my experience. Although I'll pass on the "cheating wife" experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoepie Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 See your point; blame it on my youthfull bravery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoardFlak Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 Physical adulthood and Mental adulthood are, alas, two very different things. Far too many people who have all the adult equipment are still too much children to be able to use it wisely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
volunteer Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 How do you know when you are an adult? It's certainingly not when you quit making mistakes or use poor judgement or there would be few adults.I was a teenager in the 50s, a father in the 60s, and a grandfather in the 80s. IMHO, adulthood comes when you take full responsibility for yourself and those that depend on you.I'm still a kid at heart! Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ThunderRiver Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 Well, by March 2004, I will be 21, and I personally don't feel anything special about it. A lot of my friends are often frustrated because we can't go to bars late at night, but they often slip goodies to me (as in wine). I don't drink a lot, and I consider myself with some degree of self-control, except when it comes to ....... Well, I don't cheat in relationship, but with a woman nagging me, and the desire for pleasure, it does delay projects that I work on fairly frequently. It is a bad thing of course.You will know you are an adult or not when it comes to responsibilities. The more capacity you have to take on responsibility, the more well fit it is for you to be an adult. It has nothing to do with age, but it does relate a lot to decision making, and the interaction you have with people. The more calm you are, the better you can deal with things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imranj Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Hmm..........i am here at 23 yrs old.........and i wonder am i adult..........legally yes i am ...........but in biological terms.........i know i can marryhave kids (i do want to, cant help it), i dont drink and smoke so dont know.........but as far as i know i always be a kid in front of my parents..........uncles and other ppl who are a generation ahead, i can be a adult when the other generation comes inand say hey uncle , dad........etc. I think being adult is when u come to realise that u have a future for yur self, a reposibility towards yur upcoming family and immediate wife,the need to earn a living........etc etc.........If u meet the kids say from 10 to 17 yrs .......in India who earn their living by begging , selling things.........like newspapersand see their talk and maturity..........u would be surprise about how adult u are.............i see only one thing in their life is the need to go to school and study...........and be a someone great.......when they grow up....i saysend a kid who takes things for granted to india and he/she will learn to apreciate wht they have .........already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebone Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 My father used to have a moving target for adulthood: You aren't an adult until you have a job You aren't an adult until you get married You aren't an adult until you own a home You aren't an adult until you have children OK. Well I got the job. He raised the flag to the marriage thing. I moved in with my girlfriend (that wasn't marriage, but in the 70's it was 'close' as in close enough for horseshoes and hand-grenades). Flag upped to home ownership. We bought a house. Time for the kids thing. But that last one stayed elusive, and shall remain so.But, I figured 3 out of 4 isn't bad and declared myself an adult. Then in my late forties I started getting insights into sacrifices my parents had made for their children's well being. I would guess that I might have realized these earlier and appreciated my parents efforts more if I had had children of my own. So, darn it, the old man was ahead of me after all.Perhaps I can be an honorary adult having reached these insights?These days I want to be a kid again, if only to never have to fill out a tax return again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 LittleboneIf you had kids, then it would have been* until they were off to college.* until the mortgage is paid off.* until you retire.etc., etc., etc. You just never got to the end of the formula. Now sometimes I just wish I still had the parents around to compare notes. I look back and wonder how they ever got me raised or even more so, my older brother, without having a heart attack! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 Growing up as the eldest in a houseful of 6 children, and being nearly 5 years older than my next sibling ... having a lot of responsibility early on was just the way of life ;)I never missed the trouble I never had time to get into I have lived through nearly being killed by a farm tractor and lived through the death of several dear friends and close family ... The pain diminishes with time but their wonderful memories live on.Now we have 3 grown children (2 girls and a boy) and the two girls in the last couple years given us our 3 grandchilden (two boys and a girl)... life is just one big round robin!Who knows where we'll be another 25 years if we are lucky (?) enough to live that long ... great grandchildren! Oh, no! LOL!So do I consider myself an adult, mature ?? Well ... some days, yes -- some days, maybe -- and some days, absolutely not! There is a better way ... we should always keep the best of both worlds ...Yes, we should learn from our mistakes, be responsible, take care of those around us who need us, as well as ourselves, but we should never, ever give up on our youth ... it'll lead to an early grave. And at 48, I am no where near ready to be old ... LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 Physical adulthood and Mental adulthood are, alas, two very different things. Far too many people who have all the adult equipment are still too much children to be able to use it wisely.Guy just finished signing the deal on his new motorcycle. The salesman says, "Well, you can't forget to purchase that very important equipment to protect that very important part of your body."The guy replies, "You sell athletic cups?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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