Jeber Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 NPR had a show on today regarding "adult status". Since we've had a couple of threads about age, it seemed like a good topic for the W.C. There are several state and federal standards for defining an adult, mostly things you're allowed to do as an adult you can't do as a minor. And most of those things involve potentially life threatening behavior...driving, drinking, smoking, marriage ( ). The assumption being that an adult can measure the risks better than minors. What defines an adult in your book? Was there a moment in your life when you finally realized that you were no longer a child? Should the legal age for driving be raised?...for drinking?...for smoking? Should other social activities be limited to adults that aren't now?I'm interested in hearing from both adults and the younger set. Do those of you under 21 feel oppressed? Are there things you think you should be allowed to do now that legally you can't? Is it fair that a member of the military can drink alcohol even if they're under 21, but you can't?Come on, posters. Let's hear what you think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 I don't know. Do I classify as an adult yet? Was I an adult when I went in the USAF? How about when I got out? When I became a parent? Age has nothing to do with ability to drink or do drugs or other dumb things. I have 14 year old students that admit to all of these. I thought I was barely old enough to get married at 26 or become a parent at 28. At 21 I thought knew a lot. At 18 it life was a game. I look at my daughter who will be 19 soon and think she is very adult in many ways. She is adult enough that she decided for herself not to drink any alcohol or smoke or othewise. I look at others and wonder. Does adulthood equal maturity???? Who knows. I think if you are old enough to die for your country, you are old enough to make decisions. It is nice to have a support system or family to fall back on. I don't think there is a decision I would not trust my daughter to make. Of course she is not afraid to ask questions when making tough decisions. Then again, I watched her vote last summer. Oh my. No wonder she decided not to vote again until she knew the canidates and platforms they based their campaigns upon. We have some very mature young adults in this forum. I give up. Jeber count me in for the curious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ross549 Posted May 29, 2003 Share Posted May 29, 2003 Wow.... a definition of adulthood..... can a question be any more complex or difficult? I guess that I have several requirements to be considered "grown-up....."1. That a person would be willing to consider someone else's good over their own..... of course, a child may sometimes do this, so there must be more to it than just that.2. Said person must be able to recognize the gravity of life-changing desicions, and be able to logically break a life choice down, and arrive at the best solution.3. The person must have a maturity level required to raise children successfully.Those are just a start.... I would like to think that I have attained such a level in my few years of life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havnblast Posted May 29, 2003 Share Posted May 29, 2003 Hey maybe that is a question we should ask our lawmakers - how did they come up with those ages? Guess if they can be drafted they must be an adult. ~ shrugs ~ I dont know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted May 29, 2003 Share Posted May 29, 2003 OK, Jeeb, when this post fleshes out, are we going to compare notes and decide, once and for all, that we do not WANT to be adults?The hardcore truth of the matter is, males don't come out of adolescence until the mid-20's. How old were you when you were playing around with national security? I was holding peoples lives in my hands well before that.Females mature much earlier.So, is it maturity that defines the adult, or social competency, or ability to learn, or???????We are putting 16 and 17 year olds in adult jails, trying them as adults and giving them adult sentences. By definition, that should make 16 and 17 year old folks adults.Teach is right; old enough to die, old enough to self-destruct, old enough to vote. If we want to back that up some, then we have to do so in ALL categories, not just the ones we choose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted May 29, 2003 Author Share Posted May 29, 2003 Very good points, jbredmound. I agree that there is a biological defination to "adulthood". Though if we define adulthood for the entire society based on biological rhythms, we'd be returning to a society similar to those in the Middle East over 2000 years ago. A boy became a man at (usually) 13 years of age, and was then expect to marry and work at a trade, often his father's. I'm neither for or against that concept, but is it acceptable to others. American society seems headed in the other direction. We're prolonging childhood any way we can. But my main purpose in posing the question was to elicit the personal attitudes of all you. We can debate endlessly over what may happen in the future for society on this issue. I love those kind of discussions. But here I was just looking for your own feelings about... having become...becoming...will become...will never become..........an adult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest genaldar Posted May 29, 2003 Share Posted May 29, 2003 Very good points, jbredmound. I agree that there is a biological defination to "adulthood". Though if we define adulthood for the entire society based on biological rhythms, we'd be returning to a society similar to those in the Middle East over 2000 years ago. A boy became a man at (usually) 13 years of age, and was then expect to marry and work at a trade, often his father's. I'm neither for or against that concept, but is it acceptable to others. American society seems headed in the other direction. We're prolonging childhood any way we can. But my main purpose in posing the question was to elicit the personal attitudes of all you. We can debate endlessly over what may happen in the future for society on this issue. I love those kind of discussions. But here I was just looking for your own feelings about... having become...becoming...will become...will never become..........an adult. We've prolonging childhood because we live so long. In socities that consider 13 year olds adults people only live to be in their mid thirties to early forties. If we became adults at 13 that means 50+ years of making a living. Personally I think 40+ is more than enough time spent in a cube, sweeping floors or whatnot.I think you become an adult when you have to make decisions that will change your life. 18 works well because by then you're choosing a college, joining the military or starting on that 4+ decades of work. Sure before that there is school and work, but for most people it isn't their main reason for being. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ragnar Paulson Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 I don't know that anyone can answer this one effectively, I have more questions than answers. Are we confusing maturity and adulthood? Legalistically you are an adult (at 16, or 18, 19, or 21 depending on where you live), when you are trusted to make mature decisions. That doesn't necessarily mean you will make the right decisions. In fact I doubt you will 100% of the time. Without experience how can you. I know I didn't. Still don't Maturity comes only after a (for some long, for some a lifetime) of making the wrong/impetuous decisions. Here's a simplistic view. Adulthood is when society decides you have to be responsible for your decisions (and as such is entirely arbitrary, can be something to rebel against). Maturity is when you decide you are responsible for your decisions (this is different from when you decide you want to make your own decisions of course).Ragnar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedcranium Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 You know how I can tell that I'm an adult?- I can run around the house with scissors...- leave all the lights on....- drink milk straight out of the carton.....- sit really close to the tv....- stay up late......- watch scarry movies....- and leave my room a mess.....without hearing a D*** thing from MOM!!!!LOLuntil the wife gets home and kicks my behind! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgeg4 Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 All excellent points and great questions . I have to agree with either all or at least most of them . And I must admit I have asked myself all of the questions . Although I would add this to the discussion . Adulthood begins Around 12 or 13 yrs of age . Till then you can teach your children " Whatever" after that age you can no longer teach them you just add guidance and the way that they handle that guidance reflects directly on how you taught them for the first 12/13 years of life . Now You noticed I said adulthood begins at that age , when it becomes an actuality is another story I would venture to say that when you actually become an adult is when you have learned all there is to learn and acquired all there is to living with others and " Most importantly " yourself . So far in the last 67 years of life I have not accomplished this goal . So in conclusion true adulthood is probably unattainable . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peachy Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 George,I like your view on that. It reminds me of a philosophical view that life is an ever-changing process from one stage to the next. Implicit in the child is the potential of the adult. As we grow older we strive towards adulthood but never quite reach it. It gives us something to look forward to because otherwise if we think we've reached some static stage of "adulthood", then where do we go from there? Waiting for death? I'd rather keep living and doing and learning all the while striving to be the best darned person I can be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgeg4 Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 Thanks Peachy That's basically what I was trying to say but I wasn't able to express it quite so well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoardFlak Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 If maturity is defined as an age at which we can reasonably and responsibly decide to do potentially dangerous things, I am not sure anyone qualifies as an adult - certainly I don't regard anyone who decides smoking, drinking and driving, and other such things are reasonable choices, as having made an adult decision. When was the last time you met anyone who took up smoking as an adult? I don't think I ever have. It's a childish choice usually made as a child. Likewise, a decision to drink and drive may be made by a person wearing an adult body, but it's still the same "nothing will happen to me 'cause I can handle it" attitude one sees in children doing things we "adults" classify as dangerously stupid. My contention would be that there are some decisions that can never be made responsibly, and that making them is a sure indication that the individual is NOT an adult. I hereby apologize to anyone I may have offended with the foregoing.I suspect I come down more on the "journey toward adulthood" side. Some never even get close. Others may actually make it. Most are somewhere in a badly prolonged adolescence, trying to figure out what they want to be when they grow up - and mostly never arriving at a final decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GolfProRM Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 Eesh! this thread makes my head hurt! So much deep, intensive conversation and heartfelt opinions in here.. Not what I expect to see in the water cooler! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 GolfProDid you think we did not know how to be serious? Or are we really not serious, but we just have you fooled? Do you really know for sure?__________________What ? Me Serious?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GolfProRM Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 Teacher - Serious? These people? Never would have guessed! Anyhoo, my thought about adulthood is that there's no good age to "define" it. I know I really felt like an adult after I dropped out of college and had to start working full time and supporting myself! Took me until I was 21 years old... I just don't feel that a 13-14 year old really knows what true adulthood equals. I think having to support one's self has a lot to do with it. I know my girlfriend doesn't quite qualify yet, even though she just graduated with her Bachelor's Degree. Her mother spends quite a bit of money on her and she has yet to realize just what it takes to survive on her own. I'm hoping everything will turn out okay, but it's really hard to say at this point.A lot of "adulthood" has to do with the quality of the parenting. IMO, the better the parents, the longer it takes to reach full adulthood. If the child has to grow up in a rough neighborhood, raise their siblings, and basically survive on his/her own, then that child would have more chance of survival in the real world than the child who grew up with everything handed to them. I'm not saying that raising kids the "PC" way is wrong, I'm just saying that it has a lot to do with the "quality" of our young adults. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scot Posted May 31, 2003 Share Posted May 31, 2003 Would it be ok if no one ever tells me when I become an adult? I'd prefer not to know. Trucks and computers are toys.-- Scot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted June 1, 2003 Share Posted June 1, 2003 When I grow up, I wanna beTeacher! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgeg4 Posted June 1, 2003 Share Posted June 1, 2003 Scot Posted on May 30 2003, 10:07 PM Would it be ok if no one ever tells me when I become an adult? I'd prefer not to know. wink.gifSame here Scot I would rather not know, I am having too much fun trying to get there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted June 1, 2003 Author Share Posted June 1, 2003 Since hardly any of you feel adulthood is a well-defined point in one's life...I guess no one will be posting stories about that event that made you finally feel like a real adult. Well, maybe I will... Let me start by saying that I believe that adulthood is a state of mind that one enters several times a day, but doesn't usually persist all day. For me, it's those rare moments when I think with an eye toward the consequences and results of my behavior..."mature" thinking. The rest of the time I'm just a more experienced kid.It's a pretty lame story, so you can skip the rest of this if you want. I won't mind. I would, if I could. It's lame because, due to where it happened, I can't give many details. But suffice to say, one night I was nearly responsible for being the initial event in a series of events that could have led to WW3, easily. In fact, a "critic" alert was being drafted that announced my findings, and it was to be immediately sent to both the president and the J.C.S. My initial review of an intercepted, encrypted voice communication was that it was a soviet signal, based on the encryption method. What I failed to notice was that the tape had been made whiile the Blackhawk was over China. Thus, the soviets and Chinese were suddenly allied. The only problem was, that upon further review (also by me, thank gawd), it turned out to be a new Chinese system, not soviet at all. Wooops! I still remember the emotion of responsibility, maturity. I could have been responsible for world-wide chaos. Holy S***!! Never again have I had such an experience, and I never want another like that. But every day, there are moments that remind me of that feeling. The only difference is that now it doesn't cause nausea like it did the first time. Truth is: being an adult sucks...big time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest genaldar Posted June 1, 2003 Share Posted June 1, 2003 But suffice to say, one night I was nearly responsible for being the initial event in a series of events that could have led to WW3, easily. In fact, a "critic" alert was being drafted that announced my findings, and it was to be immediately sent to both the president and the J.C.S. My initial review of an intercepted, encrypted voice communication was that it was a soviet signal, based on the encryption method. What I failed to notice was that the tape had been made whiile the Blackhawk was over China. Thus, the soviets and Chinese were suddenly allied. The only problem was, that upon further review (also by me, thank gawd), it turned out to be a new Chinese system, not soviet at all. Wooops!  I still remember the emotion of responsibility, maturity. I could have been responsible for world-wide chaos. Holy S***!! Never again have I had such an experience, and I never want another like that. But every day, there are moments that remind me of that feeling. The only difference is that now it doesn't cause nausea like it did the first time. Truth is: being an adult sucks...big time.Seriously though who hasn't nearly caused ww3? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted June 1, 2003 Share Posted June 1, 2003 When I grow up, I wanna beTeacher! Oh no! Does that mean I am grown up? Of course, I think this is my second or is it third???? career in life. I know when I graduated from college the first two times I was not near ready to be a teacher. I think I would have just knocked heads together and been fired in the first year. Then I prayed to learn patience and tolerance and God made me a mother!!!! After seven years of motherhood, I think I finally reached the point where I have enough patience and tolerance to be a teacher.Just don't make me mad or you will be in big trouble. _______________________________Cool, Calm and collected Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siebkens Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 I don't know that anyone can answer this one effectively, I have more questions than answers. Are we confusing maturity and adulthood? Legalistically you are an adult (at 16, or 18, 19, or 21 depending on where you live), when you are trusted to make mature decisions. That doesn't necessarily mean you will make the right decisions. In fact I doubt you will 100% of the time. Without experience how can you. I know I didn't. Still don't Maturity comes only after a (for some long, for some a lifetime) of making the wrong/impetuous decisions. Here's a simplistic view. Adulthood is when society decides you have to be responsible for your decisions (and as such is entirely arbitrary, can be something to rebel against). Maturity is when you decide you are responsible for your decisions (this is different from when you decide you want to make your own decisions of course).RagnarI am printing this out for my 12-year old son - I'll give you full credit Ragnar. No plagiarism here! He has decided that he wants to make his own decisions, but hasn't matured to the point that he takes responsibilty for his decisions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 Good one Ragnar!Sieb -- I hear ya! Been there! Have three children, all grown now, two girls and a boy and less than 2 years apart. So I can certainly identify Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 [notwithstanding, temmu continues polishing light saber]ouch!sheesh, i loose more fingers that way! Is that why you have the sling around your shoulders? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 Temmu --Good to see you. Hey, good thing a light saber cuts and cauterizes in one fell swoop... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted June 4, 2003 Author Share Posted June 4, 2003 Ah now, Temmu...no nurse would ever call you "ugly".The proper term is "appearance challenged". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoardFlak Posted June 4, 2003 Share Posted June 4, 2003 Oh...and here I thought the proper term was "monster-movie enhanced." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoepie Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 Technically you're an adult the moment there's nothing more to add (see Latin: ADde ULTima). The latest addition to every creature (plant, animal or human) is the ability to reproduce. Also the word "mature" (Latin: Matre for mother) indicates there's a connection to possible motherhood. But even if your body is mature you could have the spirit of a child. Typical: a child thinks all in life is a coincidence. The moment the child knows he/she can actually plan and forecast coming events make the child think he/she's an adult. But it takes the insight "all important things in life happen by pure coincidence" to become a true adult.For me: I thought I was a pretty adult female by the time I reached the age of 17. But last year when I cycled home with a dear friend he fell and the wheels of a shuttle bus ran over his head. Now I know: before that happend I was a child (and wish I was a child still). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 Ouch! That must have been tough. Glad to see you finally found your way into the water cooler. Some of us never post here. But some of us live here.If I waited until nothing more could be added, does that mean I am incapable of growing new hair, nails, brail cells? I think adulthood is a state of mind and maturity. Now wait a minute, what was it I said before. Oh and senility is when you forget what it was you were in the middle o saying. Anyway, glad you found your way here.___________________________The Never Senile, Just Losing her Memory Teacher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.