Tales from Tech support: I Discover the Caliber of a Cat5 Cable

[ross549]

]Previously from the annals of $Large_American_DSL_Provider, I learned how to deal with the terrors that ensue when UPS delivers ahead of schedule.

This story also happened at the DSL Provider.[/size]

"Thanks for calling Support, this is thorssen, can I start off by getting your telephone number so I can look up your account?"

"214-555-3434"

 

Even before the screen loaded I knew I was dealing with a Texan, and this gentleman was of the good ol' boy variety. These guys are usually pretty cool, and this guy's a bit older-sounding so this will probably go alright. He's already got his account set up, his modem is reporting back great DSL signal, but no LAN activity. From this, I'm pretty sure I already know what the answer to my next question is going to be.

 

"Alright, I've got your account up, how can I help you?"

"Ah bit you can, boy. Ah live in a doublewide, see, and Ahs only got the one phone line coming in. It comes intah mah kitchen, see, but mah computah is in mah bedroom. Cin y'all help me?"

 

Alright, I think I've given you the idea about his accent by now. I'm going to clean it up the rest of the way, but this is what I was up against, here.

 

"I'm sure that I can, sir. What kind of computer have you got?"

"An old Dell I got from Walmart. It's pretty old, though, but it does well enough for me."

 

I look at the rather silly excuse for a computer I'm taking the call from. Honestly, I think I'd rather have the Wally World Dell than this Pentium 2 driven crapjack piece of crap.

 

"I'm sure it does just fine. So you don't have a wireless card or antenna for it, do you?"

"No sir I sure don't."

"That's fine, we'll have to find another way then. How far is it from the spot in the kitchen where you've got the DSL Modem box to where your computer sits?"

"In a straight line it's only about 5 or 6 feet but it's got to go out to the hallway and back as it is."

"Well, that's not too bad, the cable should reach, but you'll want to tape it down so it stays out of the way."

"Ugh, I know what you're talking about, and I don't think I want to do that. Say, about how wide do you reckon the plug on that ethernet cable is?"

"Um... I don't know actually, 3/8ths, 7/16ths of an inch, maybe?"

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Hold on the line for me thorssen, I'll be right back in a minute or two."

 

I look at the queue. There's no calls waiting... I've got nowhere to be, I'll let the old man do his thing. At this point I figure he's going to go snag a power drill, punch a hole in the wall and as long as I don't hear the sounds of him electrocuting himself on some wires we should be in pretty decent shape. I've got a browser open, and I'm reading news articles online to kill the time when-

BANG!

 

More can be found Here......

 

Some language in the tale, but not too bad......

 

Adam

[securitybreach]

That was great

[Guest LilBambi]

I loved it!!! I have saved that subreddit as a favorite!

[Capt.Crow]

Thats ok but where did the slug end up...???

[Guest LilBambi]

Through the wall ... and where from there .... who knows...

 

in the side of the cabinet in the kitchen, fridge, stove?? LOL!

[Guest LilBambi]

LOL! Well sure, except for the slug...

[zlim]

well that's one way of doing it. Not my way, though.

[Guest LilBambi]

Not mine either. Now where is that drill...

[ross549]

It worked, right?

[Guest LilBambi]

Ah, yeah...of course it did.

 

Faster than the drill too...

[ebrke]

Faster than the drill too...

And a lot more exciting, I guess.

[securitybreach]

i guess the shotgun would be for passing bundles of cable through the wall...

 

Click, click, BOOM!