Jeber Posted May 13, 2003 Share Posted May 13, 2003 CNN NEWS...Local Feed...May 13, 2003...0830 PDST... In an announcement sure to cause unrest and mayhem across the country, Scot Finnie, known around the world as Scot Finnie, has announced the appointment of Jeber to the newly created position of "Minister of (Mis)Information" in his forums, a dubious adjunct to his well-read newsletter. Jeber, formerly a lowly barrista in the "Water Cooler Cafe", comes to the new position with a wealth of experience dispersing misinformation. A former government official in an undisclosed nation, Jeber has finally adjusted to living in the land of the freeware, "When I first arrived, I couldn't believe all the Americans I saw. You know, I never saw Americans in my homeland. And I love your arts, music, your internet. In my country, we share internet access...one person at a time. I have found so many things on the web...free information, games, porn. These were never available to me before. I was able to smuggle out all my misinformation files and have safely stored them on this wonderful little "keydrive", they are called. 128M of capacity, secure, very cute...here, let me show you. I have it right...right...could have sworn it was here...wait...did it fall under the couch?...blast! Anyway, I shall attempt to deliver the same degree of service in my new position as I tried to provide during my apprenticeship in the forums as barrista." When asked how he felt about leaving a position he's filled since March of this year, Jeber replied, "Let them get their own bloody coffee. If I never see another latte, it will be too soon." Scot Finnie was not immediately available for comment. This could be due to his hectic schedule or his reluctance to face the world press after that terribly embarrassing incident that occured in Boston last year, an incident we have sworn about which we would not comment. Jeber's former country is currently undergoing a redesign, and was also unavailable for comment. I.M. Adoof CNN NEWS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 13, 2003 Share Posted May 13, 2003 Minister of Mis-Information Jeber I love it. You are just too funny. I wonder what it is like in your record store. How do you keep a straight face all day - or do they think you are insane? Keep 'em coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stryder Posted May 13, 2003 Share Posted May 13, 2003 Today is truly a sad day in java history......after this news, I am switching to tea!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruno Posted May 13, 2003 Share Posted May 13, 2003 or do they think you are insane? I think they know for sure JuliaB) Bruno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 13, 2003 Share Posted May 13, 2003 or do they think you are insane? I think they know for sure JuliaB) Bruno What do you think gives him away? Think it is the curly hair? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruno Posted May 13, 2003 Share Posted May 13, 2003 Never trust people with culy hair Julia ! Bruno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Never trust people with curly hair?Never trust people with curly hair?Never trust people with curly hair?Wait a minute, does that mean I can't trust myself ?Don't answer that one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Welcome oh, Minister of (Mis)Information .... And thanks for all the lattes LOL! ;)Hmmm....let me see ... green tea, that's supposed to be good for you ... and I like it too. That will make a nice replacement for all those lattes the old barrista used to supply LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Wait a minute, does that mean I can't trust myself ?Don't answer that one! The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind...the answer is blowing in the wind... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 OK, another question...what will Jeber's number be, and which card in the deck, when the coalition comes to get him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted May 14, 2003 Author Share Posted May 14, 2003 (Come on, jbredmound, it's too obvious...I was the joker! Can't believe I had to give you that one. )I have renounced my old ways, I've even renounced some of my new ways. I have served faithfully as barrista for a couple of months without mishap. I have not once allowed my camel to poop in the SFNL Memorial Garden. What more can I do to prove my dedication to this place? I shall continue to offer sound bad advice, and will even establish a quasi-official Ministry of (Mis)Information thread, which in keeping with my duties here will contain all the misinformation, bad advice, off-topic conversation and just plain silliness I can muster. You will be more than free to join in. I love this forum! I love this country! I love democracy...we tried to force our people to be democratic, but the experiment failed. I shall serve this forum, and perform my new duties, to the best of my ability. If any member finds that I am failing to do so, that member will be dealt with! I mean, we'll work it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scot Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Er ... uh ... let me see, didn't I did sign some sort of letter of intent, or statement of [free] work, or some such papier absurdment making this Minister, no Quasi-Whatever, uh, Miss Information guy actually some sort of honcho? I think I did. OMG. I think I did!Wait, maybe that was my tax return.(Please, please, don't let the I.R.S. get wind of that incident in beantown last year...)Focus, Scot! You signed it, you know you did. Could this guy be dangerous?? Or incompetent? Or looney tunes? He sounds way out there. Let's face it, he could be a wacko.My, God. I have start reading things before I sign them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scot Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Can anyone get me a real drink in this place?? I mean, a real drink ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GolfProRM Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Er ... uh ... let me see, didn't I did sign some sort of letter of intent, or statement of [free] work, or some such papier absurdment making this Minister, no Quasi-Whatever, uh, Miss Information guy actually some sort of honcho? I think I did. OMG. I think I did!Wait, maybe that was my tax return.(Please, please, don't let the I.R.S. get wind of that incident in beantown last year...)Focus, Scot! You signed it, you know you did. Could this guy be dangerous?? Or incompetent? Or looney tunes? He sounds way out there. Let's face it, he could be a wacko.My, God. I have start reading things before I sign them.My guess was that he pulled the classic "report card signing" trick... He took the paper he wanted you to sign and then cleverly stuck a normal sheet over the top of it (cutting out around the signature box), and then had you sign this "innocent" sheet of paper... Worked for me when I didn't want the parents to see my report card grades! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted May 14, 2003 Author Share Posted May 14, 2003 Ryan, I suspect you have been reading my misinformation papers. Did you find my "key drive"? I demand it's immediate return. If you do not, you shall be boiled in oil, drawn and quartered, and then... Oh, I'm sorry. A bit of a flashback there. I meant, it would be really swell if you returned it.BTW, that paper trick works every time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GolfProRM Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 Yeah... I know... wouldn't have made it through school if it weren't for the paper trick :DKey drive... hmm... I know it takes a key to drive a car, but I've never heard of a "key drive." Is it one of those new-fangled things they use in those really fancy cars?? If so, then I definitely don't have it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 One of my favorite tricks with the folks in jail who are suspicious of anything they have to sign...I have them read it thoroughly...have them sign it...then tell them that they didn't look at the copy underneath, which was their plea-bargain! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 14, 2003 Share Posted May 14, 2003 OK, another question...what will Jeber's number be, and which card in the deck, when the coalition comes to get him?That's an easy one:the King of Comedy.You heard about that fifth suit in the deck, didn't you? Or was that the joker? I don't know but read the fine print. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 I just read an interesting book titled "Mein Kramp"; it was written by a guy who lives on the West Coast, USA. He describes a plan to take over the world "one forum at a time".Apparently, much like Sebu befriending the hyenas, the author is eliciting support from a number of subversive penguins as the plan goes forward,Speaking of forwards...this book has a forward penned by one Dr. Earle, who states that this book has become required reading in the forensic sociology courses at his U. He highly recommends the book to anyone trying to understand the lust for power.Scott F....We are going from yellow to orange Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 ROFL! Is he taking over the forum in a Dutch penguin suit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted May 15, 2003 Author Share Posted May 15, 2003 the author is eliciting support from a number of subversive penguins as the plan goes forward,Curse you, infidel jbredmound, you have stumbled across my secret plan (how do you know Dr. Earle? He gave you that copy of my book, didn't he? We'll deal with him later!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgeg4 Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 Is the post of Village Idiot Open in this forum If so I would like to apply for the job . I hear it carries more respect ( or was that disrespect ) than a plain and simple Dummy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonicDragon Posted May 15, 2003 Share Posted May 15, 2003 I just read an interesting book titled "Mein Kramp"; it was written by a guy who lives on the West Coast, USA. He describes a plan to take over the world "one forum at a time".Sounds similar to Ender's Game. I'm not done reading it yet, so don't let me know how it ends!PS, I'm voting for the joker! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 That's one for the joker, do I hear two? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 LOL!Actually Village Idiot has been reserved by Jeber as he holds that title elsewhere and honorarily maintains it wherever he goes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgeg4 Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 I know about the other one Bambi I followed him here just so I could bug him twice as much . Besides I am completely happy just being the dummy . And teacher you now have a second for joker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 [Curse you, infidel jbredmound, you have stumbled across my secret planBack to the inkwell, goes Coco the clown... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 I hate it when I sense injustice in the world...it seems like I am always wearing a good shirt.Well, thanks to the lady with the necklace of monkey feet who lives just down the road from me, the flightless birds (and their conspirators) will have to come through me! (Do you like the green?...I thought it was a nice touch). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 I know about the other one Bambi I followed him here just so I could bug him twice as much . Besides I am completely happy just being the dummy . And teacher you now have a second for jokerGeorge - I am sure in time we will find a way to promote you from your self-proclaimed title.Now We have two for Jeber as the Joker in the Deck of Cards. All in favor, cast your ballots now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siebkens Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 Jeber for JOKER! Long Live the JOKER! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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