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Corrine

Party Central: The Never-ending Story

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This is the never-ending story --

 

The story has been started. Now its up to the next person to pick up where it left off and continue the story. Your post can be as long or as short as you wish, but it has to follow along from where the previous poster left off. Try to keep to a theme.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

And so it begins . . . Once upon a time there was a wondrous intergalactic empire known to all from far and near as SNF, populated by Highlanders. Handsome and charming King Scot ruled SNF with kindness and generosity. King Scot was ably assisted by an assemblage of Knights but it was the Highlanders who brought SNF to life.

 

King Scot, his court and all the Highlanders were very happy until one dark and stormy night when . . .

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And so it begins . . . Once upon a time there was a wondrous intergalactic empire known to all from far and near as SNF, populated by Highlanders. Handsome and charming King Scot ruled SNF with kindness and generosity. King Scot was ably assisted by an assemblage of Knights but it was the Highlanders who brought SNF to life.

 

King Scot, his court and all the Highlanders were very happy until one dark and stormy night when young Prince Temmu decided to experiment with a small cold-fusion-in-a-cup toy he recently bought at Nukes R Us. Unbeknownst to all, the Prince, in his usual mad genius way, modified the children's toy using a cyclic booster device. Using a small magnetic launching sled the Prince did toss the now very dangerous device squarely into the neighboring realm of Spam-a-Lot. In retaliation for the damages sustained by Spam-a-Lot's main sewage treatment facility, they...

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And so it begins . . . Once upon a time there was a wondrous intergalactic empire known to all from far and near as SNF, populated by Highlanders. Handsome and charming King Scot ruled SNF with kindness and generosity. King Scot was ably assisted by an assemblage of Knights but it was the Highlanders who brought SNF to life.

 

King Scot, his court and all the Highlanders were very happy until one dark and stormy night when young Prince Temmu decided to experiment with a small cold-fusion-in-a-cup toy he recently bought at Nukes R Us. Unbeknownst to all, the Prince, in his usual mad genius way, modified the children's toy using a cyclic booster device. Using a small magnetic launching sled the Prince did toss the now very dangerous device squarely into the neighboring realm of Spam-a-Lot. In retaliation for the damages sustained by Spam-a-Lot's main sewage treatment facility, they gathered together their massive army of bots. Spam-a-Lot had the meanest, nastiest bots of all of the neighboring kingdoms. These bots were capable of causing grievous damage merely by . . .

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.....launching a massive attack against the stalwart Highlanders, tempting them with offers of perpetual motion devices and calendars with pictures of scantily clad computers.

 

The Highlanders were ready for the onslaught, as they had taken refuge in the Cloud Computing Division of the Googleplex. Google's servers caught most of the spam, but Jeber was tempted by the image of an overclocked PCI network card, and sadly, he was infected. Jeber's infection did not las long, but it did cause him to give out some Really Bad Advice. Some members did follow it, causing......

 

(http://forums.scotsnewsletter.com/index.php?showtopic=376&hl=advice&st=0)

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Oh noes... cross-posting confusion in our story. Must recompile. :(

 

Already done. Splines have been reticulated, and paradoxes have been satisfied. :D

 

Adam

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.....launching a massive attack against the stalwart Highlanders, tempting them with offers of perpetual motion devices and calendars with pictures of scantily clad computers.

 

The Highlanders were ready for the onslaught, as they had taken refuge in the Cloud Computing Division of the Googleplex. Google's servers caught most of the spam, but Jeber was tempted by the image of an overclocked PCI network card, and sadly, he was infected. Jeber's infection did not las long, but it did cause him to give out some Really Bad Advice. Some members did follow it, causing......

 

(http://forums.scotsn...&hl=advice&st=0)

 

Utter mayhem and bouts of further really bad advice which everyone loved. Then one day Cluttermagnet brought in his Dirk for a story spin and tried to do something similar to this story and it got derailed too. So...

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slowly, the rusting metal roll-up door groaned closed. inside the dimly lit warehouse was what substituted for phoenix's office, a thin-walled wooden affair whose top half was dusty glass. it was illuminated by a single 40w lightbulb hanging from a wire, that, and the glow of 30 flat screen monitors. the heat from the pcs made the office stifling.

Phoenix knew he was on to something big, really big. His heart pounded in anticipation. He’d brought down snl & the nfl and now! He’d bring down sfnl too, even tho it had more letters. as he sat, he belched, having just a tad too much salami sandwich.

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Unfortunately, Phoenix was not prepared for the effect of the potion added to his Scotch Ale that he imbibed to wash down the heavy salami sandwich and his head slowly fell to the desktop, hitting the keyboard and setting off . . .

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A Mid Summer's Dream...or was that actually turning into a Nightmare on Elm Street? ?!?

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Ah, but it was more than a nightmare when Phoenix' head crashed to the keyboard in the unusual (and highly secret) key combination, the unusual combination of keys to be used only in the direst of catastrophic events . . . Xyzzy! Suddenly . . .

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...phoenix passed gas. all 30 screens went dark (from keystrokes, not gas.) the rats scurried away into their dark holes throughout the warehouse. just then, his drop-dead gorgeous assistant, mia, clip-clopped into the office, her red high heals beating a toccata on the greasy concrete floor. "who farted?" she quipped. "you been eating taco bell again?" after adjusting, then readjusting her skin tight black evening dress, she slinked into one of the many old wheeled, wooden office chairs. it sighed, one can imagine, contentedly. "pheonix! i'm talking to you! why are you ignoring me this time?" mia didn't understand, of course, the hideous plot that had clogged phoenix's mind, blocking out any ray of sunshine, even those emanating from the beautiful mia. phoenix spoke like the military genious he wasn't, "mia, i've noticed no, none, zilch activity from the freaudian botnet i asked you to deploy against that scot's forum." mia looked up from filing her fingernails, "o, that. i knew there was something i forgot."

 

little did mia and phoenix know that on the other side of town...

Edited by Temmu

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little did mia and phoenix know that on the other side of town...

 

Securitybreach discovered a securitybreach. No he had not invented the mirror, though that may come in useful later on. His darling monitors were missing.Who could have done such a dastardly deed? It must have taken a highly organised network of criminal masterminds.Realising that he needed a networking specialist with contacts in the "undergrowth". Securitybreach sent out a call to CNNA for a contractor.......................

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... eric (also known as eric of the ethers) rolled up on his harley. hoisted on poles on the back of the bike were two large black flags, "born to network" and "born to be wild". speaking of which, that tune was pumping out of the harley's $2000 sound system. eric, clad in black buckle down leather slid his double barrel 10 gauge out of its scabbard and thumped across securitybreaches freshly cut lawn. securitybreach opened his front door, but didn't expect to see that! after slamming the door, and catching his breath, he realized it was eric, and let him in. "missing monitors, eh?" growled eric. "yes, last night. i stepped out for monster energy drink, red bull and starbucks double shot. when i returned, they were gone!" securitybreach eyed eric. one couldn't help that. "i have, um, had, information that scot's may soon be under attack. if you find my monitors, we can get at that info. then perhaps we should call corrine..."

 

meanwhile, back at the warehouse, phoenix was reimaging all of his crashed systems, and mia was liberally applying air freshener to anything that moved (which, of course, was phoenix.)

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[a note from your narrator:

gentle readers, fear not. each and every one will be sent-up as i can.

your invaluble input is required for my progress.

as i shant write but a few lines after each of your glorious writings...

will scot's survive? only u can make a difference!

thx, temmu the grate]

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meanwhile, back at the warehouse, phoenix was reimaging all of his crashed systems, and mia was liberally applying air freshener to anything that moved (which, of course, was phoenix.)

After 5 cans of air freshener, Mia wasn't noticing any improvement and was beginning to feel a bit woosey. "What is happening here, Phoenix?" she managed to mumble, having forgotten about the damages to Spam-a-Lot's sewage treatment facility.

 

Phoenix, having recovered from the drugged Scotch Ale, was madly plotting his next move for he knew without a doubt that the only way their army of bots would be able to successfully overcome the Kingdom of Highlanders was to put Princess Bambi out of commission. This task, however, was likely to be nearly impossible to achieve because . . .

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... the sewage treatment plant’s effluent was overflowing into spam-a-lot. As thick as the effluent was, so the plot thickened: phoenix had his reimaged servers back up, and the warehouse vent fans to draw out the cloud of air freshener. Mia chirped, “honey, I’ve some intel for you…” “useful intel? Or simply that penny’s having another linen sale?” grumbled phoenix. “no, you’ll like this! I know where the highlander’s have taken refuge.” “really? And what of the evil bot net, why isn’t it responding?” said phoenix.

 

Over at securitybreach’s suburban home, securitybreach was finishing his 3rd xlarge red bull. “gawd, how many of those you drink?” growled eric. “huh?” said securitybreach. Eric’s cell rang, “it’s Corrine! (to securitybreach) Hello dear (to the cell)” “hi, eric. We have a problem!”

 

At the googleplex, adam was marshaling the gang and ensuring supplies were evenly distributed. “no one’s heard from the king. Perhaps we should send out a scout?” queried abarbarian.

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phoenix and mia stood in the warehouse office, kissing, locked up tighter than a drum, phoenix's hand slowly reaching for... "HEY!" cried phoenix, "HEY! who let the readers in here?"

 

narrator: sorry, phoenix, i thought we were on page 32.

Edited by Temmu

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sigh. the never ending story died.

[temmu digs hole in back yard and gently lowers the towel-lined shoebox filled with its remains into the cold, moist earth.

after a moment of silence, temmu shovels dirt back into hole and pounds a piece of 3/4" pvc pipe into the ground as its headstone.]

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must be so. the admins agree. sad. truly sad.

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Administrator Note: It is apparent that Prince Temmu, a member of the troop of Highlanders sent by Princes Bambi to ascertain the state of Spam-a-lot's bots, was overcome by the stench from the sewage treatment plant. Do not fear, he will recover, although whether he will be the same again is highly questionable.

 

Neverending Definition: adj. Having no foreseeable end. The Neverending Story of the Higlanders continues evermore!

 

 

At the googleplex, adam was marshaling the gang and ensuring supplies were evenly distributed. “no one’s heard from the king. Perhaps we should send out a scout?” queried abarbarian. "No!", responded Princes Bambi emphatically, "We need to remain mindful of the primary objective -- protecting Highlanders from the onslaught planned by the Spam-a-lot bots."

 

"To that end," continued Princess Bambi, "we not only need to be on our guard. It is time to encrypt and move to the cloud the data SecurityBreach has been storing." Unfortunately, SecurityBreach has been distracted and . . .

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... temmu stumbled into his backyard, awaken by a terrifying noise, he was stunned to see a hole in the ground where just hours ago lay the coffin of the never ending story.

"it lives!" he shreiked.

 

meanwhile, phoenix and mia were curled up together fast asleep after 2 hours of... "HEY!" cried phoenix, "what is wrong with you?" mia awoke and giggled.

narrator: oops, sorry again, i thought we'd finally got to page 32.

phoenix demonstarted his entire collection of italian hand gestures towards the narrator.

 

eric was helping securitybreach reestablish network connectivity with his 3 monitor security rig. it wasn't going so well. the smell of the effluent from spam-a-lots sewage plant was becoming noticable.

"hurry, eric!" encouraged securitybreach, i think the sewage is getting closer!

 

adam had a call in to a high friend at cno, washington d.c.:

the friend finished with, "gnarly, situation! yo, like, doood, we'll see what navel ops can do for you. " - adam wondered at that reply.

[adam to narrator: "idiot! that was a friend in high places!"

[narrator to adam: "oops, sorry about that..."]

 

abarbarian was watching missy elliot.

"am not!" he cried.

abarbarian was, um, routing cables so we can get scot's forum uploaded to the googleplex. :whistling:

 

eric, much to securitybreach's relief, finally put down his double-barrel 10 guage.

eric was on his cell asking corrine, "look, securitybreach is down for now. how's life at the googleplex?"

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"There are problems at the googleplex, Eric. There is another zero-day on the loose and it has infiltrated each of the shuttles to the 'plex. The shuttles are over run with Bugs (enhanced microscopic image below), for which there is no know solution yet. I cannot allow proceeding with the transfer of our data until that issue has been resolved. Security analysts believe it is the work of the Spam-a-lot bots."

 

Eric, scratched his bearded chin, sighed and, in complete frustration . . .

 

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Enhanced Bugs Image:

 

bugs-bunny-cartoon-vector-material_15-8937.jpg

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Eric replied, "Well, you know my thoughts on anything Google."

 

"I know." said Corrine, "That being the case, we are going to be forced to fight the Spam-a-lot bots. It may even come down to hand-to-hand combat. Are the Highlanders prepared?"

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