The evils of Drinking!

[bob3160]

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink

I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think

about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes

and dreams.. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out

of work and their dreams would be shattered.

Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their

dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the ****

happened to your bra and panties.

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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they

wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're

going to feel all day. "

~Frank Sinatra

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are

tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

 

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are

laughing WITH you.

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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

 

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,

we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.

When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all

get drunk and go to heaven!"

 

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

~ Benjamin Franklin

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a spaz.

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"Without question, the greatest invention in the

history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the

wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does

not go nearly as well with pizza."

 

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends

over and over again that you love them.

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To some, it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

 

 

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically

converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory

to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

 

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as

fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest

and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.This natural selection

is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the

whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the

slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.

But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In

this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells,

making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always

feel smarter after a few beers."