Jeber Posted August 17, 2003 Author Share Posted August 17, 2003 Man, you people just won't take advantage of bad advice even when it's freely given. I have yet to see anyone who has followed my terrible advice and converted their system to the new "standard". Well, pooh.....I just won't push this concept anymore. Here I thought I'd found a really bad and inefficient way to create a common machine that even our newest members could adopt. Obviously all of you are still caught up in that "freedom of choice" attitude, and are unwilling to give up your right to a system that fits your needs and instead use a system that provides the lowest common denominator factor to all it's parts.It's obviously going to be a waste of time to try to get everyone to use the same browser, service pack, cursor, mail client, wallpaper, etc.So just go on...use what works best for you...never mind that all this "personalization" is what creates all these difficulties we experience daily with our PC's. Don't feel guilty at all about the seconds I've wasted putting what's left of my mind to the task of making your computer experience easier, albeit shallower and less interesting. Don't concern yourselves at all that now I have to strain my mental capacity to come up with new bad advice...knowing that no one is going to pay it any attention either. Excuse me...I have to go freshen up... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoardFlak Posted August 17, 2003 Share Posted August 17, 2003 You're welcome! Actually, whatever thoughts I might have had about following that beautifully bad advice were quashed by my wife. For whatever reason, keeping the computer we have seems to be a higher priority for her than following bad advice. Go figure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted August 17, 2003 Share Posted August 17, 2003 Ah, gee ... and after Jeber spent all that time putting together some absolutely wonderful bad advice ... who'd a thunk anyone would want to stay with their old or new computers set up to their individual needs ... LOL! BTW: Love the new Linux look Jeber! That hat is great! Looks like you might want to cut a couple holes in it though so you can see better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted August 18, 2003 Author Share Posted August 18, 2003 I can't see a thing...but I know that voice...LilBambi is back!!! Quint was very nice to get me this outfit...but others have been picking on me, knowing I can't see who it is...one I do know, Teacher wanted me to put a brick on my head! Well, I don't bump into things quite as much now...I'm learning my way around the forum by radar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted August 21, 2003 Share Posted August 21, 2003 Jeber,LOL! Guess you don't need those hole's in your hat afterall now that you have radar ... that's pretty cool ... not everyone can do that one! Glad to be back!I thank both you and quint for the copy of the 'little guy in the big hat' ... I love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted August 27, 2003 Author Share Posted August 27, 2003 After days and days of banging my head against the wall in an effort to come up with some more bad advice for you all...I found this product on the web. My bad advice - by lots of this and use it liberally (and according to the directions, of course).WiFi Spray Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prelude76 Posted August 27, 2003 Share Posted August 27, 2003 jeber, thats just tooo funny my fave part is their disclaimer WiFi Speed Sprayâ„¢ should not be used in the presence of pregnant women, women who have been pregnant, or women who may some day become pregnant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted August 27, 2003 Author Share Posted August 27, 2003 Mine was Made in Malaysia, by Malaysians. Not intended for use by MalaysiansI love a well done satire site! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoardFlak Posted August 28, 2003 Share Posted August 28, 2003 Here's a clever site that was in the LangaList newsletter this week. I think I've dealt with these guys.http://www.newtechusa.com/PPI/main.asp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted September 5, 2003 Author Share Posted September 5, 2003 In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you all that I've been using PPI to write my posts and emails for several weeks now. And I bet you've never even noticed. This week I have them working on my website, so I'm having to post myself. But next week they should be able to once again take over my duties here in the forum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted September 5, 2003 Author Share Posted September 5, 2003 Reading through the Security threads made me think...(uh oh)If you're concerned about the latest slew of bugs, worms and viruses on the web...if you worry that others are reading your emails...if you simply want to be assured that your system is as secure as can be...................Unplug your phone line from your computer, remove your modem, and never ever ever go online.Problem solved.Next issue?... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoardFlak Posted September 6, 2003 Share Posted September 6, 2003 QUANDO OMNI FLUNKUS MORITATUSWhen all else fails play dead.Jeber: I just noticed this in your sig now. A member of the Possum Lodge, perhaps? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted September 6, 2003 Author Share Posted September 6, 2003 No, I hope I'm not stealing sombody's motto. Personally, I don't believe in joining groups. I've been trying to start a club of like-minded people, but the membership drive is going poorly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoardFlak Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 http://www.redgreen.com/Technically, that's different on the last word (Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati), but the translation's the same. If you've never heard of The Red Green Show, then I guess it's just a fantastic coincidence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted September 8, 2003 Author Share Posted September 8, 2003 Twas indeed a co-ink-ee-dink...but now that site's in my favorites. My kind of place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted September 10, 2003 Author Share Posted September 10, 2003 Don't you get tired of reading all those advice posts that tell you to reinstall Windows, just because you've totally hosed your system to the point where Windows has renamed the only environment it will let you boot into "unsafe mode"..."it's your only hope", they say.Well, if it's such good advice to reinstall Windows (or Linux, for that matter) to correct problems with the system...wouldn't it make more sense to simply reinstall your OS every time you boot up?Of course it would. Leave your OS's install disk in the CD-ROM every time you shut down, and each time you power up, you'll be ready to do the install. Think how daisy-fresh and free of garbage your system will be every day. No more missing .dll files...no more missing shortcuts...no more over-full bookmarks lists. Just a newborn, baby-fresh system ready for you to start computing each morning. You'll be the envy of everyone to whom you're willing to admit you do this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zlim Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 ROTFLOL Leave your OS's install disk in the CD-ROM every time you shut down, and each time you power up, you'll be ready to do the install. Think how daisy-fresh and free of garbage your system will be every day.Does this mean that I have to re-download all those window patches everyday? If you don't see me here again, you know that I'm busy downloading patches all day and I have no time to read forums. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 No, zlim ... that's the beauty of it ... if you get hit with anything ... it'll be gone in the morning LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted September 14, 2003 Author Share Posted September 14, 2003 It has been requested (by Teacher, if you need someone to blame) that I cover booting your computer.Now this is a fairly common activity, more common if you're running Windows 95/98 and do frequent Windows Updates, so I don't see any need to go into great depth on the subject. Despite the term "boot", boots are not absolutely required for this. Any pair of sturdy shoes will do (I do not recommend tennis shoes, orthopedic injuries will result). Even though booting, and rebooting, a computer actually involves the case that holds the motherboard, sound card, memory, etc...booting the monitor has been known to be much more satisfying. You should place the monitor on the floor to avoid disrupting the chaos on your desk, and you should be sure no other person, pet or valuable is in the proposed flight path. Face the monitor away from you and toward the intended target. Booting the screen will result in the entire monitor becoming an unattractive extension of your leg. I strongly recommend booting the monitor from behind. You may decide to spice up the moment by establishing a point system for distance, style, destructive results. Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to employ a catcher.For added fun, should you live in a highrise or be booting your computer from your office on the 78th floor, open a window and go for distance. Also have a friend video tape the event and send your submissions to <www.potentiallawsuits.com>. Booting a laptop can be just as enjoyable, and because of the lighter weight, distances can be really impressive. With the lid closed, a properly booted laptop will behave like a frisbee. Do not allow the family dog to try and catch it.Rebooting consists of booting, in any order, the monitor, the tower, then the printer, scanner, joystick, USB drive and all cables.Final warnings...Do not attempt to boot someone else's computer unless specifically asked. Much discord will result.Do not attempt to boot a laptop while flying. Much disaster will result.Do not boot a computer in a small room or closet. Give yourself plenty of space. (Why is your computer in a closet?)Do not attempt to boot a machine that's still plugged in. Electrocution will result, and your distances will be reduced.Do not attempt to boot a mainframe computer, unless you're really in shape.Do not bother booting PDA's. No challenge, and poor distances will result.Do not boot Linux machines. There's no need, and the degree of pleasure isn't the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 Jeber,Could I cool my pc better by soaking it in water? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted September 14, 2003 Author Share Posted September 14, 2003 sipowicz...a new kid?? Must be a rebirth of some sort. Could I cool my pc better by soaking it in water?Water cooling is all the rage right now, so I'd have to say yes, that's a great idea (for this thread). However, as I'm sure you know, water and electricity mix poorly, or spectacularily, depending on your point of view. So I'd recommend that you wrap your PC completely in duct tape prior to immersion. Or perhaps that aged hippy next door has a really big baggy he's loan you to put your PC in. In the past we have suggested the "shaved ice inside the tower" concept you may wish to explore as well.Or perhaps you could just boot your computer into the swimming pool. That's good for at least 50 points depending on distance and style. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 It has been requested (by Teacher, if you need someone to blame)Don't teachers always get the blame anyway? Just remember, I don't believe I was the one that started the discussion about booting the computer but I will take the blame. I can handle it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 JeberDo you give advice on Isabella? They tell us to place our computers in trash bags before we evacuate (if it gets to that and it looks that way). Is there a particular method best for hurricane preventative maintenance? Do I go for color, scent or thickness when selecting the appropriate trash bag? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 I must say, I've had a few computers that I would love to give the boot to over the years LOL!Loved that one Jeber!Julia, Isabella's got major purples and reds on the satellite photos, maybe you could take your lead from that LOL! Hey, we got new Smilies! Thanks Scot and Arena2045! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacher Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 Are you going to bag your computers? It doesn't look like you will be much safer than I will be. I know, I'll do purple bags and you can do the red. That way when they wash up somewhere we will know which computers belong to whom. I like the new smilies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 Ha! Great idea (about the red and purple LOL!)! Yeah, I am still hoping for a turn for Isabella! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoardFlak Posted September 15, 2003 Share Posted September 15, 2003 I think I would recommend double-bagging...plus some foam peanuts - or just stuff the thing inside a bean-bag chair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted September 15, 2003 Author Share Posted September 15, 2003 SERIOUSNESS ALERT!!Since I'm hardly ever serious in the topic, I felt I'd better warn you...I'm being serious...Be careful with static electricity and garbage bags around your PC. I'd hate to see you protect the machine from water only to loose it to a fried MOBO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arena2045 Posted September 15, 2003 Share Posted September 15, 2003 Hey, we got new Smilies! Thanks Scot and Arena2045! I know its off subject but saw this... You're welcome, I did it behind Scot's back, I wonder when he will notice. I'll add more this week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted September 15, 2003 Author Share Posted September 15, 2003 Thanks, Arena...we likeum smiley's!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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