Jeber Posted June 30, 2003 Author Share Posted June 30, 2003 Essay question...no word limit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Ah, so nice to see you again there Jeber ...All I have to say to the essay question, no limit ... is ...lost in black hole ... again .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 As the QOMOMI has left the vicinity, I have noticed this thread seems to have lost it's direction, not that it had much direction previous to his departure. As much as I may be tempted to assume the role of QOMOMI, I am not by constitution able to do so. As a non-native, I am not eligible to hold office, even a quasi-official one.However, I can, and will, participate in the fine banter I have observed within this thread. I shall be obliged, though, to do so as myself. Or more accurately, myselves.You see, you humans have, upon your person and within your person...each and every one of you...fellow passengers, mostly parasites of some sort. But on this planet, the microscopic life forms are incredibly stupid.Where I come from, all life forms are of equal intelligence. And inter-specie communication is common. So all the separate life forms that constitute "me" are constantly communicating, making us very aware that every individual is really more an "us" than an "I".But enough about me. I'm just like so many beings in the universe. But you guys.....whoa.....you guys are really strange. So tell me more about you.Oh, wait. I forgot once again that you respond better to questions (or polls). So my question is:What the heck?? What the heck? is the most common response of any life forms that find they can listen in on the conversations of resident enteric bacteria.It is also commonly heard when a life form hears a commotion between it's toes (or other closely-aligned appendages), and discovers a fungal picnic going on.Frankly, I am glad that those "cavorting beasties" of mine are mute...if they were smart, we'd have to give them "the vote", and I would be deluged with absentee ballots. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted July 2, 2003 Author Share Posted July 2, 2003 I have been studying your humor this week.Let's see if I can do this...Q: Why did the idiot climb the chain-link fence?A: To see what was on the other side. (Duh!)A fraud artist is working the Chicago to New York train. He sits next to his victim, a young woman, and says, "Let's do something to pass the time. We've got a long ride ahead". She isn't sure what to think. He says, "Tell you what. Are you good at trivia?" She is. He says, "Let's play a trivia game, then. But since I suggested it, we'll do it like this. I'll ask you a question. If you can't answer it, you'll pay me $5. If you can ask a question of me that I can't answer, I'll pay you $500. What do you say." "OK, I'll try it." Shyster, "I'll go first. Let's see...how many miles is it between New York and Tokyo?" She thinks about it, and admits she doesn't know...and hands the man $5. Now she asks, "What has four legs going up a hill, but only three legs coming down?" He ponders it, consults his PDA, calls a buddy with his cell phone...and finally admits he hasn't an answer. He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out five one-hundred dollar bills. "Here", he says, "You got me. But now I gotta know. What does have four legs going up a hill but only three coming down?"Without speaking, she hands him another $5. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted July 2, 2003 Share Posted July 2, 2003 Good one Jeber ... looks like you are getting our humor after all LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted July 4, 2003 Author Share Posted July 4, 2003 Dudes! Dudettes!! I'M BACK!!! (What the heck did that QOMOMI clown start this thread for??)Anyhoo...no matter. I'd love to go into the whole saga of recent events...foreigners, aliens.........my gawd, you poor people have been putting up with some awfully strange folks using my name...but I've got to go get a bug-eyed house guest out of my bathroom (he's hiding in the towel closet) and send him off to be with his own kind...then I've got to get a ton of sand (where did all this come from?) vacuumed out of my carpet...wow, I've learned a valuable lesson. Never again will I lend out my house to a foreigner from an unnamed country on an expired visa...never again will I leave strangers alone with my computer unprotected by passwords...never again will I tell a house guest that he's free to invite his friends over no matter where they're from.Let me go take care of the chores, calm down the animals, brew a cuppa...and then I'll try to make sense of all that's happened lately...if I can figure it out.Hey...it's great to be back...I missed you all so much...oh gawd, I'm getting all teary eyed... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted July 4, 2003 Share Posted July 4, 2003 Hey, before you permanently evict the little guy, can you ask him about my jumper...I just showed up at work today with one leg missing...I can't figure it out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted July 4, 2003 Author Share Posted July 4, 2003 can you ask him about my jumperYou mean that cute little sundress he was wearing when he left was yours?? Why Siggy...I never suspected. But I'm not being judgmental. It's all kewl. He looked so good in it. I should have asked him where he got it. I knew it wasn't from my closet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 can you ask him about my jumperYou mean that cute little sundress he was wearing when he left was yours?? Why Siggy...I never suspected. But I'm not being judgmental. It's all kewl. He looked so good in it. I should have asked him where he got it. I knew it wasn't from my closet. What, you don't look good in jumpers? Moo-moos? We are not going to talk about your closet. Too scary!Do you have a freezer? No, forget I asked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted July 5, 2003 Author Share Posted July 5, 2003 Well, I've got monsters in my closet...................and a few other things I won't mention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoardFlak Posted July 11, 2003 Share Posted July 11, 2003 Not much besides clothes in my closet...oh, and a bunch of books...but I do have some bats in my belfry, or so I've been told. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 Not much besides clothes in my closet...oh, and a bunch of books...but I do have some bats in my belfry, or so I've been told.Jeeb...Dude has bats in his belfry! Your bats escaped...my bats are tracking them, and this Dude takes over the world!I am NOT committing my reserve bats unless we form a "coalition"...I am NOT doing this "bat thing" alone! I am no dubbya!I'll meet with you, "Same Bat-Time..same Bat-Channel", and we can discuss what we should do with this "bat threat".Until then, I hope he doesn't attack San Diego. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted July 12, 2003 Author Share Posted July 12, 2003 Not much besides clothes in my closet...oh, and a bunch of books...but I do have some bats in my belfry, or so I've been told.Jeeb...Dude has bats in his belfry! Your bats escaped...my bats are tracking them, and this Dude takes over the world!I am NOT committing my reserve bats unless we form a "coalition"...I am NOT doing this "bat thing" alone! I am no dubbya!I'll meet with you, "Same Bat-Time..same Bat-Channel", and we can discuss what we should do with this "bat threat".Until then, I hope he doesn't attack San Diego.My memory is shot...kaput...so I'm trying, in vain it would appear, to recall if you and I ever did 'shrooms together. Maybe around '71? Cause you write like I thought in those days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted July 12, 2003 Author Share Posted July 12, 2003 I'm gonna try a trick I haven't tried before. So if I screw up, forgive me. If I screw up really bad, you probably won't even be able to read this. So this is the "new" Tiki Lounge. Since the QOMOMI has been vanquished (G.Dubbya says so), I figured we needed a new name, a different concept, but not starting from scratch. We'll continue our fine tradition of having no verifiable topic. This is the place to post anything (within the rules, of course) that might enter your mind...or start a "story" and let the others add "chapters" as it gathers steam (or dust)...or have a poll on any old topic ("Are wombats really as cool as Jeber thinks they are? 1) Yes 2) No 3) Who in the world gives a s***", for example)...just have fun...for a few minutes...then get back to the other forums and really learn something! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted July 12, 2003 Share Posted July 12, 2003 My memory is shot...kaput...so I'm trying, in vain it would appear, to recall if you and I ever did 'shrooms together. Maybe around '71? Cause you write like I thought in those days! The cactus grew wild in many of the canyons around home in those days, so you could pay for your camping trip by bringing a little back. It wasn't a novelty to the buyers...they just hadn't gone camping recently.No chestnuts roasting on an open fire...you guessed it!So, 71 is right on, but the place is wrong. We enjoyed salads of watercress we picked from the streams along our way, sautéed mushrooms, and often, a nice bottle of Wild Turkey or Southern Comfort to accent our steaks and our (then) beautiful surroundings.P.S. I've got the requisite MBA, so I am just as adept as any other member of my generation (and more so than most of the lawyers), but I do remember the watercress.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted July 13, 2003 Author Share Posted July 13, 2003 A story to frustrate all you paranoids on the road to recovery. OMG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbredmound Posted July 13, 2003 Share Posted July 13, 2003 A story to frustrate all you paranoids on the road to recovery. OMG We've got ourselves an entry into the private space transportation game! Launch this thing from the roof, instead of the basement, and you're at least sub-orbital.I have to admit that one of my first thoughts was, "Where would my water heater go if it launched?" I feel much better, because it would enter the first floor through the master bedroom closet. This would lower the total damage, as it would be arrested by all of my wife's clothes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted July 14, 2003 Author Share Posted July 14, 2003 Oh foo...for the second time in my life I'm tagged with the label "cop". Probably won't do much better of a job this time around than I did the last time. I'm really not "cop" material. More of a tartan plaid.<----------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 Wow! Jeber ... that story is amazing!BTW: Great place to hide the Ministry of (Mis)Information LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted July 14, 2003 Author Share Posted July 14, 2003 Here's a find. However, it's really only directed at dudes and/or lesbians. And it is rated M for mature...content, language, irony. Very deadpan humor, and, in my opinion, very well written. Michael Kelly's Page Of Misery: The Lost Art Of Seduction. If you are neither a dude nor a lesbian, but are an adult, and promise not to flame me for suggesting this link, you may still enjoy his writing style. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SocBum Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 For those of you that are interested in finding an appropriate job to fit existing skill sets I suggest checking out one of the new magazines to hit the streets (or should I say bars )http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoardFlak Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 I never thought I'd cause a ruckus just by mentioning the bats. Such cute little fellows they are, too. Not at all vicious or mean or wanting to take over the world.Well, except for Genghis...but he's a bit strange anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoardFlak Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 From my post on the Really Bad Advice thread: I realize these things are subject to frequent change around here, and I don't want to alarm anyone, but I just looked back up at a previous post and noticed that Jeber has turned into a large penquin with a floppy-brimmed red hat....That's right: Jeber's put on a hat. It took me a moment to spot the difference, but then I realized I couldn't see the hair any more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted July 22, 2003 Author Share Posted July 22, 2003 At least you can still see! I can't see a thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted July 30, 2003 Author Share Posted July 30, 2003 Wow...a whole week of just chillin' alone here in the Tiki Lounge. Guess everybody else is either on vacation or busy at work (or trying to get their modem to work under Linux ). It's all cool. We all need a break now and then. And there is, I have recently discovered, an entire world beyond the confines of the computer desk. Natural light...fresh air...soil...trees...wombats. All kinds of nifty stuff to explore and enjoy.OK, I sold me! I'm outta here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonicDragon Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 an entire world beyond the confines of the computer desk.A what? No, those are only in fairy tails silly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cluttermagnet Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Wow...a whole week of just chillin' alone here in the Tiki Lounge. Guess everybody else is either on vacation or busy at work (or trying to get their modem to work under Linux ). It's all cool. We all need a break now and then. And there is, I have recently discovered, an entire world beyond the confines of the computer desk. Natural light...fresh air...soil...trees...wombats. All kinds of nifty stuff to explore and enjoy.OK, I sold me! I'm outta here. Aw, don't worry about it, Jeber- it's probably not you, I think it might be me. I hold the North American speed record for clearing out a room. I just start talking or typing and...Hey! Where did everybody go?! I think they also might be a little restless because they still want to talk about the aliens but they're not sure if that is still in good form or not, ever since QOMOMI left the building.Hey- that's cool about welcoming all dudes and dudettes, but I happen to know a distinguished dude-ess I'd like to bring by and introduce some time, if it's OK. After all, we already let geeks and bozos and even the occasional dork in here, so what harm could there be? (No, she doesn't speak with a Zsa-Zsa Gabor accent, dahling!). I also recommend adjusting the start of happy hour to 11AM to accomodate the more serious summer researchers. I'm taking a break myself right now, but don't get between me and the expresso bar! (where d'ya think all those run-on sentences come from, anyway?) :lol:Oh, that fresh air thing? I've been picking raspberries around our yard all last week. Yum! Season's over now. And I transplanted another little holly from the back yard to a more prominent spot out front. Putting in some of the more hardy local flora which should be less tempting to the deer herd in the neighborhood next winter. Bambi and friends stripped some of our evergreens last winter. Gee, those guys will eat almost anything- except holly. I had to fight 'em for the raspberries. One last thought for the wary- best to pick your fights, so in that spirit... "What to do if an alien appears:One! Drop beneath the seat of your plane, and look away!Two! Avoid eye contact!Three! If there are no eyes, avoid _all_ contact!" (Thanks Firesign Theatre) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted September 3, 2003 Author Share Posted September 3, 2003 One criminal too stupid for technology...from The Register Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LilBambi Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 Jeber! You sure pegged that one! LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeber Posted September 19, 2003 Author Share Posted September 19, 2003 Just to remind my Australian friends...I'm still waiting for someone to send me my wombat...but not this wombat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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