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Further tales of the Tiki Lounge


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#76 OFFLINE   Corrine

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Posted 07 February 2012 - 11:26 AM

QUOTE
The boarding party made quick adjustments to their weapons and...
the rogue three man crew dematerialized from the deck of their vessel...

and materialized seated at the small table under the old Tiki Lounge sign-
wearing loud polyester Hawaiian shirts and hats.


Oh, Clutter, is that the true story behind the appearance of Bruno Mars on the music scene?  Did Captain Omen take the name of our beloved Bruno and fabricate a history of being from Hawaiian to explain his choice of wardrobe when discovered in the Tiki Lounge?
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#77 OFFLINE   Temmu

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Posted 07 February 2012 - 02:40 PM

aboard the timeship aeon:

the ship lurched, spilling the captain's latte on his freshly pressed dress whites. [deleted expletive!!!]
amidst the glowing neon displays, the chief chrono-navigator barked, "captain! we've been displace 100 years into our future"
smoke wafted from the comm panel, comm handed a message to captain, it read, "from: time police. to: captain of aeon.  msg: you have been sent ahead and frozen in time to wait await the return of your errant crew.  they'll let you know why when they get back. lol."
captain to comm, "does this message end with laugh-out-loud?"
comm, "yes, sir."
captain, somewhat red-faced, "bozos! comm, prepare a stealth inter-time message torpedo to admiral.  this isn't over yet!"

back at the tiki lounge:

security to commander, "sir, the human they call "temmu" keeps saying my name.  how is it possible he knows me?"
commander, shaking his head, "he's producing flatulence, it merely sounds like your name."

and at corrine's table:

corrine announces, "those men keep making flatulence sounds..."
erik noticed too, and that's when the ice broke.  approaching corrine, he whispered, "they are not from earth!  and their speech sounds like flatulence to our untrained ears."

science to commander, "sir, their staring at us!"

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#78 OFFLINE   Temmu

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Posted 08 February 2012 - 10:45 AM

at the tiki lounge:

snap! - crackle! - pop! like a bowl of rice crispies, but vastly louder, and so brief!
the hawaiian shirt clad folks vanished!  the apparition under the screen where eric had gone was gone.
and the lounge rats stared in utter silence, amazed.

aboard the aeon:

it had been a month and a week, ship's time.
"got 'em back, captain!" cried engineer, gleefully!
"wha' happen', cap'ain?" wondered commander.
captain filled them in on the stealth torpedo to admiral, and how that admiral had contacted his friend and time command.  from there things were set in motion to return the aeon to the present, and here we are, and here you are.  we also repaired the time rift "eric" and his alienware caused.
"take us out of orbit, helm.  we're never coming here again!" captain ordered.

back at tiki:

the bartender sighed, "does this mean no karaoke tonight?"

Edited by Temmu, 08 February 2012 - 10:47 AM.

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#79 OFFLINE   Cluttermagnet

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Posted 08 February 2012 - 10:56 AM

OMG! Divergent time lines! whistling.gif
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#80 OFFLINE   Temmu

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Posted 08 February 2012 - 05:22 PM

my conclusion wraps up all the loose ends and eliminates my characters' intervention in your plot. sayonara, sensei. wink.gif
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#81 OFFLINE   Cluttermagnet

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Posted 08 February 2012 - 11:17 PM

Sayonara, grasshopper. thumbsup.gif

May the farce be with us...

Edited by Cluttermagnet, 08 February 2012 - 11:18 PM.

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("It takes an entire village to raise a child...")
"It takes only one bulldozer to raze an entire village..."
"Hey, Mel- isn't that your kid driving that bulldozer?"

In loving memory of Bruno Knaapen of Amsterdam, who shared
his love of Linux, and thereby made the world a better place...

#82 OFFLINE   Cluttermagnet

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 03:15 AM

QUOTE (Corrine @ Feb 7 2012, 10:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh, Clutter, is that the true story behind the appearance of Bruno Mars on the music scene?  Did Captain Omen take the name of our beloved Bruno and fabricate a history of being from Hawaiian to explain his choice of wardrobe when discovered in the Tiki Lounge?

I'd never heard of that Bruno. Did a quick listen to some samples of him on Amazon, read his bio on Wikipedia. I take it he is a flamboyant dresser? His voice really stands out, and you can hear the genre- spanning. He's not stuck in any one genre. Refreshingly, he actually sings. Rap has made a whole generation of music generally thin and colorless for me. This guys's work I like. He's pretty good. I never would have suspected he was an alien. wink.gif

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("It takes an entire village to raise a child...")
"It takes only one bulldozer to raze an entire village..."
"Hey, Mel- isn't that your kid driving that bulldozer?"

In loving memory of Bruno Knaapen of Amsterdam, who shared
his love of Linux, and thereby made the world a better place...

#83 OFFLINE   ross549

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 05:45 AM

Not like your sixth grade teacher? We all know where she comes from........

Adam
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#84 OFFLINE   Cluttermagnet

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 07:14 AM

Yeah, I was overlooking obvious exceptions like my grade school teacher or Al Roker. hysterical.gif
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("It takes an entire village to raise a child...")
"It takes only one bulldozer to raze an entire village..."
"Hey, Mel- isn't that your kid driving that bulldozer?"

In loving memory of Bruno Knaapen of Amsterdam, who shared
his love of Linux, and thereby made the world a better place...

#85 OFFLINE   LilBambi

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 09:39 AM

hysterical.gif
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#86 OFFLINE   Temmu

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 11:12 PM

cluttemagnet ... what's up w/the story line??  i don't recall the hawaiian-shirt guys' ship photon-torpedoing the tiki lounge... all was left as it was found...
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#87 OFFLINE   Cluttermagnet

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Posted 27 February 2012 - 06:29 PM

QUOTE (Temmu @ Feb 23 2012, 10:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
cluttemagnet ... what's up w/the story line??  i don't recall the hawaiian-shirt guys' ship photon-torpedoing the tiki lounge... all was left as it was found...


Reclusive writer rumored to be readying new episode of Tiki Lounge...
Film at eleven... wink.gif

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("It takes an entire village to raise a child...")
"It takes only one bulldozer to raze an entire village..."
"Hey, Mel- isn't that your kid driving that bulldozer?"

In loving memory of Bruno Knaapen of Amsterdam, who shared
his love of Linux, and thereby made the world a better place...

#88 OFFLINE   Temmu

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Posted 29 February 2012 - 05:57 PM

laugh.gif cool!
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#89 OFFLINE   Cluttermagnet

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 06:25 AM

Roadie Dirk sat at the counter of the Lincoln Diner absently stabbing at his multiberry waffles with his fork. Random rivulets of syrup and melted butter swirled around the waffles like an edible Rorschach. Dirk ignored the obvious temptation to self analyze. "repeekemiT" once again popped into his mind. He wrote it on his napkin. It was the darnedest thing, this little anomaly of his imagination that kept reappearing from time to time. "Re-peak/ Emit"? he mused. "Re-peak Emitt"? Memories of Emitt Rhodes flooded back from the past, as Dirk puzzled over this pesky anagram. Rhodes had been talented, but somewhat of a flash in the pan. He released a few records, then lapsed into obscurity, as had so many before him. Interesting artist- he recorded all his tracks at home. He was a one man band. Played all his backup instruments, did all his voice overs, mixed it all together from numerous multiple tracks. What was it about Rhodes? All of his songs sounded so... alike. And Rhodes favored a rather busy sound. Kept a Vu meter constantly at the upper end of its range. Listen to him long enough and you felt like you had been beaten about the head and shoulders. It was tiring...

Peek and poke. Those were commands, back in the days of the BASIC programming language. PEEK- read from memory. POKE- write into memory... "Re-PEEK/ EMIT? 'Peak a circuit'- adjust an amplifier or oscillator for greatest output?" Nah, couldn't be geek related...

No, couldn't be Emitt Rhodes, either. The anagram must be about something else. Ristdagger held his butter knife, which happened to be new and unusually shiny, next to the doodle with "repeekemiT" and noted that mirror- reflections from any angle didn't make much sense either. Ahhh, but what about the capitalization of the "T". He pulled out his pen and  wrote it backwards. He had just spelled "Timekeeper". "Hmmm..." he mused. "Mmm mmm mmm..."

Louise had returned to the Lincoln Diner, but on terms much more to her liking. She didn't need the job now- rather, the Lincoln needed her. The old Tibetan place had finally closed down, a victim of the recession. Seems like tourist dollars had mostly been keeping the place afloat.  When that went, the bottom fell out. The locals didn't go in that much for yak buttered tea. But the Lincoln soldiered on. The townsfolk loved the atmosphere and the friendly service, and breakfast was ever popular at the Lincoln, any time of day. Dirk caught her eye, raised his coffee mug slightly, along with his trademark grin. She paused in her chat with Miss Faye, long enough to indicate with a slight downward wave of her index finger that she was on the case. " Life is good..." thought Dirk, as he absently wiggled the napkin doodle as if it were a jigsaw puzzle piece. "...and what a great development- the Old Tiki being re-adopted by the townfolk... who would have guessed it?"


Next week: No karaoke at "The Restaurant at the Edge of the Universe" this week, either. Darn it!
And: Edible Rorschach craze's origin traced back to Sweltenham diner...

Edited by Cluttermagnet, 06 March 2012 - 07:22 AM.

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("It takes an entire village to raise a child...")
"It takes only one bulldozer to raze an entire village..."
"Hey, Mel- isn't that your kid driving that bulldozer?"

In loving memory of Bruno Knaapen of Amsterdam, who shared
his love of Linux, and thereby made the world a better place...

#90 OFFLINE   Cluttermagnet

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 02:25 AM

"This edible Rorschach craze has gotten completely out of hand" mused Roadie Dirk. He absently rubbed his several days old stubble and resolved to shave again- soon. Although several had suggested that karaoke would be a great addition to the ambiance at the Restaurant at the Edge of the Universe, they had yet to attract any local talent. Sweltenham was a little isolated by a ridge line which divided it from the neighboring valley- and of course Sweltenham had just recently exited Prohibition, but its many years as a dry town had stunted its growth. The old Tiki had had an odd reputation as the sort of 'bar' that attracted eccentrics, vegetarians, peaceniks, computer geeks, and old farmers. Not exactly a swinging place. Even today, it was not yet a restaurant, it was more of a coffee shop laid out like a bar and grill restaurant. It was all informal- no cash register- everything was on the honor system. Patrons tossed their money into a big goldfish bowl and made their own change. Nobody wanted to pick it up and run with it, it was just an alternative to the Lincoln where folks could also settle in and relax and socialise. And of course Dirk still lived there, rent free, in the back. Only two things were served- coffee and a rather unique dessert. Folks could bring with them anything else they wanted. Among those things, beers were the most often seen items.

The influx of tourists and the few 'big city' folk who had been drawn to the valley in recent years had finally tilted the town a little more towards the mainstream. Still, it had been a shock when the newcomers overwhelmed their opposition at the Town Council meeting, catching the Old Guard off balance and ushering the little town into the Twentieth Century at last, no longer dry. Well, OK, it's the twenty-first century now, but a little town can stand only so much change at one time.

Who would have guessed that Roadie Dirk's edible Rorschach invention would be such a hit? It was even siphoning off a little of the traffic at the Lincoln, lately. Dirk's claim to fame was the idea of an ice cream cake with a unique topping that just cried out for interpretation. Customers would be personally served their desserts by Roadie Dirk, who would chat with them for a few minutes about the unique pattern on their cake. They could have Dirk interpret it for them, or could take a stab at it themselves. Eventually, hunger would win out, and their innermost secrets made a wonderful dessert. Rumor had it that several copycats had popped up nearby, but they didn't have Roadie Dirk. It was really standup comedy where the audience gets served dessert during the performance, not a bad idea at that. Sometimes there was even a wait, if Dirk was particularly busy. He often performed to tables of folks who were pretty wired from drinking multiple cups of coffee. Surprisingly, the Rorschach creations didn't appeal near as much to the drinkers, who seemed to favor more salty, fried sorts of snacks.

Dirk hadn't thought of the anagram for several days. Every now and then it would pop in at random: "repeekemiT", and of course he would counter it with "Timekeeper". It bugged him that he could not connect "repeekemiT" with anything in the world or in his own life. Ah well, the ice cream cakes with the delicious and suggestive maple syrup and butter topping were popular, maybe a bit too popular...

Edited by Cluttermagnet, 08 March 2012 - 03:29 AM.

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("It takes an entire village to raise a child...")
"It takes only one bulldozer to raze an entire village..."
"Hey, Mel- isn't that your kid driving that bulldozer?"

In loving memory of Bruno Knaapen of Amsterdam, who shared
his love of Linux, and thereby made the world a better place...

#91 OFFLINE   LilBambi

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 10:12 AM

Awesome to see you back to your writing Clutter! Enjoying it! thumbsup.gif
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#92 OFFLINE   Cluttermagnet

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 05:43 PM

Yay! I have at least one reader- heck, maybe two or three. hysterical.gif

That's essentially why Jeber said to make it interactive so you don't embarrass yourself playing to an empty house.
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("It takes an entire village to raise a child...")
"It takes only one bulldozer to raze an entire village..."
"Hey, Mel- isn't that your kid driving that bulldozer?"

In loving memory of Bruno Knaapen of Amsterdam, who shared
his love of Linux, and thereby made the world a better place...

#93 OFFLINE   LilBambi

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 07:13 PM

Or at least feel like you are playing to an empty house. Just wanted you to  know you were not. wub.gif
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#94 OFFLINE   V.T. Eric Layton

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Posted 08 March 2012 - 09:46 PM

QUOTE (Cluttermagnet @ Mar 8 2012, 04:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yay! I have at least one reader- heck, maybe two or three. hysterical.gif

That's essentially why Jeber said to make it interactive so you don't embarrass yourself playing to an empty house.


I read EVERY word you type... TWICE! wink.gif

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Have a creepy little Halloween!


#95 OFFLINE   securitybreach

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Posted 09 March 2012 - 01:34 PM

Great piece Clutter, I enjoyed it a lot thumbup.gif
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#96 OFFLINE   Corrine

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Posted 09 March 2012 - 09:32 PM

Count me in too.
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#97 OFFLINE   Cluttermagnet

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Posted 10 March 2012 - 07:36 PM

Well, gawrsh! T'anks, guys! blushing.gif  hug.gif

I think we got quite a few writers in here, actually. thumbsup.gif
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("It takes an entire village to raise a child...")
"It takes only one bulldozer to raze an entire village..."
"Hey, Mel- isn't that your kid driving that bulldozer?"

In loving memory of Bruno Knaapen of Amsterdam, who shared
his love of Linux, and thereby made the world a better place...

#98 OFFLINE   Cluttermagnet

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Posted 16 March 2012 - 01:18 AM

Ahem-
As unofficial historian of the Cooler, I humbly submit the following resource material for your consideration:

Chronicles (Note the 3 clickable links):
Further tales of the Tiki Lounge, an interactive story
(Read at bottom of Post #32)

Forerunner to Tiki Lounge
Really Bad Advice, I'm here for you...

Which devolves into a discussion about the pros and cons of axe- er- shovel murders
Really Bad Advice, I'm here for you...
That thread was really a hoot! But there was a war breaking out- something was needed to break the tension...

Jeber's original Tiki Lounge
The Tiki Lounge, All dudes and dudettes welcome...
QOMOMI- Quasi-Official Minister Of Mis-Information (inspired by actual events at the time)

Clutter's original post in the fading Tiki venue (Post #303):
The Tiki Lounge, All dudes and dudettes welcome...
That transplanted Holly is now over 6ft tall and is becoming an actual tree in my front yard-
and the Raspberries are always good around July 4th- I harvest quarts of them at times.

The split off "Further Tales... Tiki..." is born...
Further tales of the Tiki Lounge, an interactive story

Roadie Dirk Ristdagger was born in the Test forum, now erased. Unless the Wayback Machine happened to capture that. Here's a more modern rewrite:
Sibilance
It fails to capture details of the loudspeaker surfing phase- Roadie Dirk tries to arrest the fall of a large speaker off the stage and into the mosh pit- this caused by the hapless roadie's accidental erasure of the beginning of the lip sync tape- the bass player was so thrown off balance from having nothing to lip sync to that he knocked over a large monitor speaker- speaker surfing briefly eclipses guitar smashing in popularity...

Whew! Enough history for now. I'm going to go annoy Bozoette for a while... style_emoticons/default/whistling.gif
Special Limited Edition Cluttermaster 2007 with direct air cooling system.
"ClutterLabs" --open hardware for open software" .......... Registered Linux User 446867


("It takes an entire village to raise a child...")
"It takes only one bulldozer to raze an entire village..."
"Hey, Mel- isn't that your kid driving that bulldozer?"

In loving memory of Bruno Knaapen of Amsterdam, who shared
his love of Linux, and thereby made the world a better place...

#99 OFFLINE   LilBambi

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Posted 16 March 2012 - 09:08 AM

hysterical.gif Read through it all. Man, one must need to take a Evelyn Woodhead, err, Evelyn Wood Speed Reading Course

Hey, it was good enough for JFK* (who was said to read over 1000 wpm), right? (NOTE: Removed the link which has mostly broken links but one went to an unsafe rated site).

QUOTE
Voiced by Tommy Chong, the piece begins with the words delivered phonetically:
Ever since I took the Evelyn Woodhead sped ridin course, my ridin has [Tommy carefully sounds out the syllables somewhat incorrectly] im-PRO-v'd won-der-FULL-y. I ricommend these Evelyn Woodhed Speed Riddin Course to all my frens out there and you tell 'em that you heard it here first... on Roller Derby


Quote from one of the Topics Clutter mentioned above:
QUOTE
Old Doc Moody had a sign up on the wall that gave the simple imperatives for assistants in the field:
(1.) Keep your head up
(2.) Duck!
(3.) Not necessarily in that order


Thanks Clutter, oh, mighty unofficial forum historian!!! What a wonderful idea and walk down memory lane! Thank you!

Reminds me of We Need A Name topic of discussion on what to call ourselves here in Scot Finnie's Scot's Newsletter Forums and how Highlanders was settled on.


Some info on speed reading: To keep one safer, here's a bit of the blog posting:
QUOTE
There are FIVE key points in common across all Speed Reading courses and books:

1. State - Being in a relaxed, alert state of mind, which is best for absorbing and remembering the information. Use a simple relaxation technique, such as taking a few deep breaths, before you begin.

2. Reading in layers (or levels), including browsing the information before starting, doing a high level overview and even a second read-through when finished, can improve your reading speed, comfort and comprehension. This layered approach may seem repetitive or slow, however it results overall in a massive increase in effectiveness and decrease in time spent reading a particular piece of material.

3. Speed Reading Techniques - Use your hand, finger or a pen on the page to keep your eyes moving forward. Other techniques also include points about page-turning and information on where to find key-points in the material.

4. Note Taking - In order to assimilate and remember the points made, take notes on what you have read, focussing on the key words. Mind Maps are a good technique for this. See this link for a: Free Mind Mapping Guide.

5. Speed Reading Courses. Attending a course with a qualified instructor means you will have the confidence of knowing that you are using the techniques in the correct way. A good Speed Reading course will cover all of the above points and take you through exercises to help with comprehension and memory, as well as increasing your reading speed.


Apparently there are several books recommended for speed reading:

The Evelyn Wood Seven-Day Speed Reading and Learning Program by Stanley D. Frank

PhotoReading by Paul R. Scheele

The Speed Reading Book by Tony Buzan

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#100 OFFLINE   Temmu

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Posted 22 March 2012 - 10:53 PM

QUOTE (LilBambi @ Mar 16 2012, 08:08 AM)
The Evelyn Wood Seven-Day Speed Reading and Learning Program by Stanley D. Frank



  style_emoticons/default/hysterical.gif  style_emoticons/default/hysterical.gif  style_emoticons/default/hysterical.gif ... would that be a month-long course without the speed reading?
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