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amenditman

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Smart Women goes boating

 

Smart Women goes boating

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors,and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, “Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?”

“Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)

“You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,” he informs her.

“I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading.”

“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start

at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says the woman.

“But I haven’t even touched you,” says the game warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”

“Have a nice day ma’am,” and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think.

Edited by amenditman
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securitybreach

Man: Waiter, will you try the soup?

Waiter: What's wrong Sir, is it too cold?

Man: Will you just try the soup.

Waiter: Is it too hot?

Man: Will you just try the soup

Waiter: Is it too spicy, Sir?

Man: Will you just try the d**ned soup son

Waiter: If there is something wrong with the soup...

Man: WILL YOU JUST TRY THE SOUP!

Waiter: FINE! I'll try the soup. Where's the spoon.

Man: Exactly.

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V.T. Eric Layton

Domestic cats are not far removed from their wild cousins. While cats have been domesticated to some extent for about 3K years, dogs have been man's best friend for closer to 12K years; four times longer than cats. That's 480 human generations that had domesticated dogs compared to only 120 generations of humans with domesticated cats.

 

Their wildness and independence are what make cats so much COOLER than silly ol' dogs. ;)

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We shall send to the moon, 240,000 miles away from the control station in Houston, a giant rocket more than 300 feet tall, the length of this football field, made of new metal alloys, some of which have not yet been invented, capable of standing heat and stresses several times more than have ever been experienced, fitted together with a precision better than the finest watch, carrying all the equipment needed for propulsion, guidance, control, communications, food and survival, on an untried mission, to an unknown celestial body, and then return it safely to earth, re-entering the atmosphere at speeds of over 25,000 miles per hour, causing heat about half that of the temperature of the sun--almost as hot as it is here today--and do all this, and do it right, and do it first before this decade is out--then we must be bold.

 

President John F. Kennedy, September 12, 1962

 

Sure you will. Giant rocket. Uninvented alloys. 25,000 miles per hour. In 7 years. :hysterical:

Edited by Webb
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securitybreach

fascinating! one wonders what it does? (or is it photoshopped?)

 

It's a tractor with the front end made to look like the last batmobile.

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I think I've mentioned it before--my neighbor has a large, very plump male cat who sleeps squished into a cardboard box like that. He insists that it be on the dining room table in the sunlight but does allow it to be moved if they need to use the table.

Edited by ebrke
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