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Ubuntu Fan Wakes from Two Year Coma, Excited to See New Unity


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#1 OFFLINE   securitybreach

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 12:57 PM

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The family of teenager Micheal Robertson gathered to his bedside at their local hospital, welcoming the young man back into reality as he had finally come out of a two year coma, following an incident where he was hit by a car after being distracted by Mark Shuttleworth’s private jet, Canonical One, flying overhead.

Reports say Mr. Robertson is a “huge fan” of all things to do with the Ubuntu operating system and upon greeting his family, they apparently were not at all surprised that one of his first questions was regarding the GNU/Linux OS.

“But hey, hey what about Ubuntu?” he had asked enthusiastically. “Anything new and exciting? Oh boy, I just cannot wait to see how Unity has improved! And what about the Ubuntu phones? They must be everywhere by now, surely!”
Mr. Robertson’s mother, Jacinta, was suitably supportive but had to break the news gently, saying, “Well, I think they’re doing okay with IoT and server stuff, son”. But his brother, Gregory, chimed in, “Sorry bro, Unity is kinda dead. So is the whole convergence thing.”

Sources say Mr. Robertson then went even more pale than he had at the depths of his coma, unsure whether this was real life or just fantasy. Things only escalated when family members informed the increasingly frantic teenager that Ubuntu would be adopting the GNOME desktop as the default desktop experience with the upcoming Ubuntu 17.10, with him repeatedly trying to jump out the nearby several stories high window. “Well, at least we have Mir to play around with, right? Right?” Mr Robertson said finally, after being restrained and eventually calming down.

Mr. Robertson’s family told reporters that they will “wait until Micheal is home and safe” before finally breaking the news that Ubuntu will be Wayland only and that they will be “particularly gentle” in breaking the news to him that Ubuntu has been overtaken by Mint, Debian and Manjaro on DistroWatch.com.

https://www.sudosati...-two-year-coma/
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"Do you begin to see, then, what kind of world we are creating? It is the exact opposite of the stupid hedonistic Utopias that the old reformers imagined. A world of fear and treachery and torment, a world of trampling and being trampled upon, a world which will grow not less but more merciless as it refines itself. Progress in our world will be progress toward more pain." -George Orwell, 1984

#2 OFFLINE   V.T. Eric Layton

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 01:04 PM

BAHAHAHAHA! :hysterical:

#3 OFFLINE   abarbarian

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 06:14 AM

I always knew Ubuntu's were bad for you :tease: :Laughing:
Install ARCH
You'll never need to install it again
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#4 OFFLINE   raymac46

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 09:10 AM

That site has some real funny posts like this one.
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#5 OFFLINE   securitybreach

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 01:23 PM

View Postraymac46, on 19 May 2017 - 09:10 AM, said:

That site has some real funny posts like this one.

That one is pretty good considering how truthful it actually is.
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#6 OFFLINE   Hedon James

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Posted 20 May 2017 - 08:44 AM

As an (L)ubuntu user, I think this is quite funny also!  :lol:

#7 OFFLINE   abarbarian

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Posted 20 May 2017 - 09:29 AM

https://www.sudosati...ity-first-time/

He he this is my favorite. :harhar:
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#8 OFFLINE   securitybreach

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Posted 20 May 2017 - 10:05 AM

View Postabarbarian, on 20 May 2017 - 09:29 AM, said:

https://www.sudosati...ity-first-time/

He he this is my favorite. :harhar:

Hahaha

Quote

” When queried on his desktop of choice, Richard was quick to respond. “Definitely not KDE,” he said emphatically. “I use a heavily customised DWM (tiling window manager) session. I’d much rather spend my time customising key binds and tweaking terminal colour schemes than filing bug reports all day for bloated desktops like KDE..."

That was great :hysterical:
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"Do you begin to see, then, what kind of world we are creating? It is the exact opposite of the stupid hedonistic Utopias that the old reformers imagined. A world of fear and treachery and torment, a world of trampling and being trampled upon, a world which will grow not less but more merciless as it refines itself. Progress in our world will be progress toward more pain." -George Orwell, 1984




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