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Attention: Water Cooler dwellers!


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#1 OFFLINE   ross549

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Posted 19 January 2005 - 10:55 PM

From: SFNL Forum SecurityTo: All SFNL Highlanders, specifically, those that frequent the Water CoolerSubj: Secuirty Alert #045To All Concerned,It has come to my attention that there has been a large breach in forum security recently in the Water Cooler. All visitors to the Water Cooler are highly encouraged to lock up their valuables, and to be cautious of their surroundings.The Security department has been informed that a scam is working its way through the WC. Apparently, there is someone posing as a representative from the IT department, who is recommending moving cables around and relocating CPU's. This imposter apparently calles himself the "IT guy."Beware: this man is a charlatan! The information he is putting out is simply incorrect, and may pose a danger to your valuable data! The Security department recommends that visitors not move their PC. To do so would endanger their data, and possibly the PC itself.Please be on the lookout for this imposter, and if you do spot him, please send a quick note to the Security people.Thank You. We now return you to your regularly scheduled boredom. :D
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#2 OFFLINE   Corrine

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Posted 19 January 2005 - 11:24 PM

To: SFNL Forum SecurityFrom: A SFNL Highlander who frequents the Water CoolerSubj: Secuirty Alert #045I am reporting a serious breach of security.  I informed the imposterizering IT-type personification that my cables didn't need rearranging.  I further explained (in triplicate, mind you) that the ethernet cable connected to the Browser & Email Central forum was properly run and that I was using DHCP.  In addition, a licensed electrician ran the speaker wires to the Windows and Microsoft forum.However, with total disregard to the aforementioned report, said imposterizing IT person still drilled holes in my floor!  Please help.
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#3 OFFLINE   Plukaduk

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Posted 19 January 2005 - 11:40 PM

Be aware that any unauthorised poking around my Water Cooler place will be dealt with by Devil Security.  :D Posted Image

#4 OFFLINE   ross549

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Posted 19 January 2005 - 11:52 PM

Well, we did not want to take such drastic measures..... :D
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#5 OFFLINE   ross549

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Posted 19 January 2005 - 11:52 PM

Corrine, on Jan 19 2005, 10:22 PM, said:

To: SFNL Forum SecurityFrom: A SFNL Highlander who frequents the Water CoolerSubj: Secuirty Alert #045I am reporting a serious breach of security.  I informed the imposterizering IT-type personification that my cables didn't need rearranging.  I further explained (in triplicate, mind you) that the ethernet cable connected to the Browser & Email Central forum was properly run and that I was using DHCP.  In addition, a licensed electrician ran the speaker wires to the Windows and Microsoft forum.However, with total disregard to the aforementioned report, said imposterizing IT person still drilled holes in my floor!  Please help.
Thank you for your report. We are investigating this matter, and should have a resolution for you soon. We appreciate you patience.
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#6 OFFLINE   Jeber

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Posted 19 January 2005 - 11:57 PM

MEMO: FROM: SFNL IT DEPARTMENT                              TO: PlukadukNo pets are allowed in the cubicles.  Would you please report to the IT department to remove your cute little doggy from my pants leg so I can get back to work?

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#7 OFFLINE   Plukaduk

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 12:05 AM

Jeber, on Jan 20 2005, 01:55 PM, said:

MEMO: FROM: SFNL IT DEPARTMENTTO: PlukadukNo pets are allowed in the cubicles.  Would you please report to the IT department to remove your cute little doggy from my pants leg so I can get back to work?
MEMO: FROM: Water Cooler DEPARTMENTTO: Who EverCute little doggy... it's a Tasmanian Devil and rather partial to gnawing on arm's, leg's, whatever will fit in it's mouth. :D

Edited by Plukaduk, 20 January 2005 - 12:10 AM.


#8 OFFLINE   Jeber

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 12:16 AM

MEMO:FROM:SFNL IT DEPT.TO: PlukadukWhat ever it is, it is now attempting to consume our backup server.  Please come claim your pooch before he gets to the mainframe.(He really doesn't like to be petted, does he?)

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#9 OFFLINE   Plukaduk

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 12:21 AM

MEMO: FROM: PlukadukTO: SFNL IT DEPT.Do not give it any more that three routers as it suffers from reflux...  :D

#10 OFFLINE   Jeber

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 12:28 AM

MEMO:FROM: SFNL IT DEPT.TO: Plukaduk$59.75 will be deducted from your nest forum paycheck to cover the cost of the 65 feet of ethernet patch cable (minus connectors) it took to restrain your puppy.  TO: All HighlandersWould anyone who might have a spare computer the SFNL IT Dept. could purchase from you for use as a backup server please contact the IT Dept. as soon as possible.  We're willing to pay up to $59.75.

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#11 OFFLINE   Plukaduk

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 12:52 AM

MEMO: FROM: PlukadukTO: SFNL IT DEPT.I have a spare Commodore 64c with a couple of 1541 drives, with a Datasette  for tape backup. You can have have it for $59.75 and call it quits for any damage Fang has caused.  :'(

#12 OFFLINE   Jeber

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 01:00 AM

MEMOFROM: IT GUY, IT DEPT.TO: PlukadukThis sounds reasonable.We have yet to resolve the issue of your pup.  We did give him some water to help wash the server down, but he seems restless.  We believe he'd like to go home now.  As he detached himself from my pantsleg in order to consume the server, we were able to make him a leash and collar with the aforementioned CAT.5 cable, but would appreciate it if you could come pick him up.  I can't say we're all comfortable with the looks he's giving the mainframe.

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#13 OFFLINE   Plukaduk

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 01:08 AM

MEMO: FROM: PlukadukTO: SFNL IT DEPT.I hope we will not have any more imposterizing IT persona's  drilling holes in the floor. I'll come and get Fang with a muzzle...  :'(

#14 OFFLINE   Jeber

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 01:16 AM

The hole drilling project has been completed, as has the dead electron cleanup.For future reference, please note that all official SFNL IT lackies will have the official SFNL IT lackey's pocket protector (a much more attractive and useful indication of occupation than a little tin badge...like some security types wear).

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#15 OFFLINE   Plukaduk

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 01:18 AM

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#16 OFFLINE   Jeber

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 01:55 AM

Oooo, all those little jumpy things make me think of all the dead electrons I've got in my hair.  I need to go shower.   :'(    BBL.

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#17 OFFLINE   RichNRockville

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 07:31 AM

Jeber, on Jan 20 2005, 01:53 AM, said:

I need to go shower.   :'(    BBL.
I've been meaning to talk to you about this..  B)  B)

#18 OFFLINE   ross549

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 08:56 AM

From: SFNL Forum SecurityTo: All Water Cooler DwellersRE: Security Alert #045All,Please accept our apologies regarding the previous security alert. We were not aware that the "IT guy" held the official SFNL IT pocket protector.Many thanks to plukaduk's little friend Killer for providing the enhanced security, but we are happy to say that he has been removed from the server room, so everyone may now stop making frenzied backups of their critical data. Please return to your normal schedule, whatever that may be.Soon, to help you with your security awareness, we will be implementing a color coded security alert system. We will have further information, when the policies and specific colors are decided upon.Also, expect a bulletin from the Hygeine Department regarding personal cleanliness standards while posting ion the Water Cooler.:'(
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#19 OFFLINE   teacher

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 09:49 AM

How do you post "ions"  in the Water Cooler.  Pray tell us your technique for this. :'(  I vote for purple for all is wonderful, orange for things are ok, red for life continues, yellow for things are going downhill and pink for we are in deep trouble.
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#20 OFFLINE   longgone

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 10:06 AM

:'(  B) .;......entirely to much free time  here .........................
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#21 OFFLINE   zlim

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 04:01 PM

I think all the electrons that I wanted to save flowed down the hole that some idiot drilled in the floor. If anyone has some spare electrons, please email them to luserinthe lastcubicle@highlandersunite.org
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#22 OFFLINE   ross549

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 04:32 PM

zlim...You can always requisition some more electrons by using a SW1504-B form to count the old ones as a loss (in triplicate), and then submitting a 1406-B form (triplicate, and typed or neatly printed in ALL CAPS) apologizing for the loss, and then submit a 3307-AB form (only one required) requesting new electrons. Please use accounting code "L" to requisition them, as it was your loss, and it will come out of your paycheck to replace them. Please allow 72 hours or 4-6 weeks for replacement, whichever is longer.
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#23 OFFLINE   Temmu

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 08:44 PM

as our supply officer once said (sorta)it's easier to requisition a box of electrons and upon receipt, appologize, than to fill out forms SW1504-B, 1406-B and 3307-AB and possibly be denied said box of electrons. :D  :hmm:  :D
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#24 OFFLINE   nlinecomputers

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Posted 21 January 2005 - 01:18 AM

Eh electrons, smectrons!  I come down here to avoid paperwork.   You need electrons we can just steal'em.  *  Walks over to water cooler pushes it aside to reveal breaker box.  Grabs wire cable, splices wire, and begins to tap into breaker box.  Trips and knocks over water cooler.  Bottle breaks.  Water spills.  Hits half spliced wire.  Large bolt of electric current flows into water.  All breakers blow.  SFNL now plunges into darkness.   UPSs start to ring.  IT guy begins to scream. Oops.   :hmm:  I think we have a problem.
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#25 OFFLINE   havnblast

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Posted 21 January 2005 - 03:31 AM

~flips the switch for the emergency generators~This happens a lot around here - power failure and than it's pray to god that the gas generator kicks in -- it gets really really dark in here in the middle of night.




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