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New Code Submitted to Allow Man to Replace His Own Mother With Systemd


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#1 OFFLINE   securitybreach

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Posted 17 July 2018 - 06:30 PM

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Citing that this would be the big step in achieving his dreams and “getting out from under his mothers’ shadow”, local Linux enthusiast, Jerry Encel, informed reporters on Monday that the new code had been submitted and was now just waiting for review, before hopefully being merged into the systemd code stack.

“It’s been a long time coming,” said Mr. Encel, as he proudly scrolled through the lines of code on his Thinkpad laptop, in between shoving fistfuls of Cheezels into his mouth. “I consider myself somewhat of a student of Lennart Poettering, so you might say I’m fond of systemd. And it can replace pretty much anything we’ve seen thus far, so why not my mother?”

While admitting that the Cheezels, the laptop and even the faded black T-shirt bearing the phrase “There’s no place like 127.0.0.1” from 2011 that he was wearing were all provided by the mother in question, Jerry Encel says that systemd will be able to takeover all her daily duties. “And without all the constant nagging,” he added. “Like telling me to get a job. Or go make friends. Or telling me to stop spreading communist propaganda posts on Facebook. There’s only so much one man can take.”

In recent days there has been some very vocal online opponents to Mr. Encel’s proposal, with many citing that he “should have least considered replacing her with OpenRC or runit, instead of systemd” or others stating that “it is an insult to his mother to replace her with something with the complexity and UNIX-philosophy violating nature of systemd”.

At press time, Jerry Encel has reportedly also started work on another code proposal for a systemd component which he has simply named “waifud”.

https://www.sudosati...r-with-systemd/
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#2 OFFLINE   V.T. Eric Layton

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Posted 18 July 2018 - 12:17 AM

BAHAHAHAHA! Techie-Nerdy humor. I love it. ;)

#3 OFFLINE   abarbarian

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Posted 18 July 2018 - 04:41 AM

:Laughing:
Install ARCH
You'll never need to install it again
"I did and I'm really happy"

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#4 OFFLINE   securitybreach

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Posted 18 July 2018 - 10:24 AM

Yeah, there are lots of good ones on that site. :)
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"Do you begin to see, then, what kind of world we are creating? It is the exact opposite of the stupid hedonistic Utopias that the old reformers imagined. A world of fear and treachery and torment, a world of trampling and being trampled upon, a world which will grow not less but more merciless as it refines itself. Progress in our world will be progress toward more pain." -George Orwell, 1984

#5 OFFLINE   abarbarian

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Posted 18 July 2018 - 01:06 PM

View Postsecuritybreach, on 18 July 2018 - 10:24 AM, said:

Yeah, there are lots of good ones on that site. :)

Yeah I like the ones you posted before. I do like the recent Trump one,

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“Who?” replied Trump. “Never heard of those guys, clearly they’re not rich. If they were, I’d know ‘em. And I don’t know what an Ubuntu is, but let me say this: if these guys are stealing your data, it’s bad! Very bad. You know why? Because they’re clearly not getting rich off of it. What amateurs are they? They could at least sell your data to the Russians or something for a quick buck. Sad!”

Satire or fact, who can tell :laugh:
Install ARCH
You'll never need to install it again
"I did and I'm really happy"

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#6 OFFLINE   securitybreach

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Posted 18 July 2018 - 01:47 PM

Indeed :thumbsup:
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"Do you begin to see, then, what kind of world we are creating? It is the exact opposite of the stupid hedonistic Utopias that the old reformers imagined. A world of fear and treachery and torment, a world of trampling and being trampled upon, a world which will grow not less but more merciless as it refines itself. Progress in our world will be progress toward more pain." -George Orwell, 1984




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